


A Vacation From Hell.

by IwritewhenIfeellikeit



Category: Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball FighterZ, Dragon Ball Super, Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alien Biology, Arguing, Childbirth, Cloaca Sex, Dark Humor, Dirty Jokes, Dirty Talk, Domestic, Domestic Disputes, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Dubious Consent, Dysfunctional Relationships, Eventual Smut, Fighting, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Love/Hate, M/M, Mating Cycles, Mpreg, Oral Sex, Parenthood, Porn With Plot, Rough Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-09 03:19:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13472616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IwritewhenIfeellikeit/pseuds/IwritewhenIfeellikeit
Summary: Freeza gets one vacation from Hell every year. He chooses to share it with Cell. One thing leads to another and yeah...





	1. Get Out Of My Head

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 of a Freeza Cell fic I’m writing. I almost felt an obligation to do it due to the shameful lack of FreezaxCell content on the internet. With the Dragonball fighterz story mode interactions, it has me all too eager to write a fanfic. I haven’t written fanfiction in awhile so, sorry If there are a lot of grammatical and structural errors. I’m winging it at this point. Warning, the next chapter will be smut, followed by fluff...Oh, and Cell is officially Bugboy to me now. Thank you DBF staff for that blessing. (Update 5/7/2018: I'm going to be drawing illustrations for this fic, so if you're new or returning reader stay tuned for that.)

Hell is not only a place of tangible misery and torture but a sallow slow burn of eternity. The ultimate killer is waiting for the end, but the end never comes. Just an endless parade of all your worst fears amalgamated into one large block of mental madness. On occasion, Hell is not without its small blessings, even it has mercy on its occupants. Once every Hell year you are allotted time away, either alone or with another denizen of Hell. You're able to escape to whatever type of paradise of your choosing, the idea is to get your hopes up only to have it enviably crumble beneath you.

Freeza let out a calm sigh as the marching band of cuteness walks away. It was a routine for him now, like a work schedule, or a meal plan. Torture, rest, torture, rest, an endless cycle of restless waiting. He learned to muffle out the mayhem around him through image training, he didn't even notice that the cupcake brigade had left him alone. 

"GOKU! Goku! I swear, I will destroy you next time! I promise to crush you and your pathetic puny world! I will put an end to your degenerate simian race once and for all!" Freeza thinks to himself as he battles with a visage of his most hated rival, Son Goku. Goku is oddly silent this time around, no idiotic moral gloating or anything.

"Why are you so quiet all of a sudden? HIT ME!" Freeza screams as he lunges for Goku's face. He knocks the vision of Goku to the ground, where he remains cold and static.

"What?! What is this?! You're usually more of a challenge than this, in fact, I lose to you more often then I win, even within my own thoughts! Ugh, this isn't helping me at all!" Freeza protest angrily. "You die now!" Freeza lifts his hand up to create a large energy orb to wipe out his rival, only to have his hand accosted from behind.

"What! Who are you?! How dare put your dirty hands on Lord Freeza!?"

"I'm just here to show you how it's done." A deep voice echoes from behind.

"No..no way! Cell?! The monkey is mine!" Freeza says nervously as the other clutches his wrist tightly. The figure was so much taller than Freeza that he had to be on his knees to do it.

"Just enjoy the show." Cell replies as he points his own energy beam at Goku, letting it go and destroying the image of his rival in one fell swoop.

"Not fair, not fair! I'll kill you, indolent bugboy!" Freeza turns around pointing his glowing finger at where the man once stood, but he was gone as well as Goku. "What is going on? Why Cell of all creatures... invading my dreams? I've never even formally met the scoundrel...Was just seeing him enough to make me escape my image training over? Perhaps, I'd want to fight him?"

Freeza had only seen Cell from afar the last time he took his vacation to his favorite fantasy, the destruction of Earth. All Hell's citizens line up when entering their chosen fantasy and he had got a glimpse of Cell that day, but never actually had a word with him.

"To be honest, fighting Goku all the time is quite a bore, perhaps I could spice it up this time around. My next vacation is coming up soon, perhaps a battle simulation with Cell would suffice? No, that wouldn't be much fun, it wouldn't be a true experience with the actual bug," he laments." It's final, I'm going to invite that grotesque bugboy to my fantasy, just this one time. I have to know his full strength so I can live my eternity of vengeance on Goku in peace."

It's hard to tell, minutes, from hours or days in Hell, but Freeza grew excited after one of his torture sessions an underling Kai came to greet him.

"Are you ready for your temporary pardoning, Sir Freeza?''

"Yes, of course...Now, get me out of this thing!" The cocoon he was trapped in fades causing him to hit the grass beneath him.

"Follow me...By the way, any special request, or is it the usual vanquishing of the earth for you?"

Freeza froze for a moment in thought. "Should I really share my only slice of momentary bliss with that vile insect, Cell? He may have looked strong, but looks are deceiving. I want to share nothing with a weakling. Who am I, the great and powerful Lord Freeza, to share my fantasy with such a lowly earth creature?" He mumbles under his breath

"Did I hear Cell? Would you like me to set you up with him, with his consent of course?

"No, I mean… fine. Tell that disgraceful maggot, I'd honor him with my presence just this one time."

"Alright, one moment" The Kai instructs as he vanishes.

"If that bug rejects my invitation, I might just have to shift to my Cell bug squashing simulation."

The kai appears back where he stood almost as fast as he left, with the large green insect man in tow.

"How did you get him to agree so Promptly?"

"It actually took 15 mins. The perception of time is slightly different in each room, depending on what your personal Hell is like. Cell wasn't too fussy either, in fact, he was very interested in meeting you, given your shared DNA after all."

"Shared DNA? Well, that's quite the peculiar factoid. Fine by me, I have no qualms in swashing a long lost relative of mine."

Cell chuckles "Very funny, little guy. I always wondered where I got my cunning sense of humor from. Definitely couldn't have been from Goku, that's for sure."

"Goku? You share genetic material with that baboon? How revolting! I suppose I'll enjoy pummeling you into the dirt even more now."

"Ha! you got jokes aplenty, Freeza.... but if it's a fight you want, I'm afraid you're far outclassed by me, princess." 

"What did you call me you worm?!" Freeza chides."That's it! Take me to this fantasy room at once! I can't wait to blast that smug look off your putrid face, they'll have to call you imperfect Cell after I'm done with you!"

"My god isn't he a cutie," Cell says mockingly gesturing to the Kai next to him.

"Alright, it's about time we get going. Now, I need you to both hold each other's hand."

"Unbelievable! Do you really expect I, Lord Freeza to touch that putrid pest without any form of spiteful malice attached!"

"I'm not holding my hand out because it's fun you know...and besides, you're going to be seeing a lot of these hands for the next couple of eternities, believe you me."

Freeza huffs, smacking his hand forcefully in-between Cell's while pouting like an ungrateful child.

"Alrighty, Any particular landscape you fellas looking for in your fantasy vacation?"

"I'm a simple guy, I don't really care," Cell replies to the Kai.

"Perhaps under a coffee table, a cupboard, or my foot would suffice for you, Cell?" Freeza laughs.

"Oh, I'm definitely going to enjoy beating your face in!" Cell growls.

"Boys, boys, I need an answer now," The Kai demands. 

"Fine, the middle of nowhere, somewhere organic perhaps? I don't want buildings, and annoying lifeforms getting in the way of my combat."

"Very well," the Kai," remarks. They suddenly blink away into a line of other people awaiting a large door. "Alright, I'll be back for you in one Hell day. It'll feel like a year for you in there."

"Thanks, already knew that," Freeza mocks. "An entire year with bugboy...hmm... At least with my destruction of Earth I had time to plan, invade and kill as much as I pleased, this… this is a lot of time to be with just one… thing." Freeza laments as the floor tracks underneath their feet push them into the light that is their year-long fantasy in Hell.


	2. Why So Curious?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone gets pregnant. Guess who?

* * *

"This is utterly dreadful, everything is so alive and green. I asked for a deserted wasteland, not a forest full of lush vegetation."

"Are you describing the landscape or me? I can't really tell at this point," Cell remarks.

"I can already tell that this was an absolute terrible Idea. Your inane pablum might kill me before the combat starts." Freeza leisurely blows up a nearby tree in anger."There, I just made this dump a tad bit more hospitable. Now, let that burning tree ignite the fire of battle! Prepare yourself, Cell!"

"Sure thing, I'll even let you get the first hit," Cell jeers.

"What...First...hit? Do you take me for a toddler? Fine, I'll make you wish you took me more seriously!" Freeza starts firing off a couple finger beams in Cell's direction, the bug dodges them with ease.

"Is that the best you got, is this really all the mighty Lord Freeza whose DNA I hold within me is capable of? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. Now then, would you rather be bisected vertically or horizontally?" It was then that the ki blast ricochets off a rock hitting Cell in the back.

"HA! You couldn't even dodge a measly pebble flicker. You really do put my cells to waste in that body of yours."

"Oh, was I suppose to feel something from that, Freeza? If you didn't notice, my body is as hard as a rock, among other things."

"What was that suppose to imply? Keep whatever you have rattling on in that carapace of yours out of my general vicinity!"

"You're the one with your mind on something other than our fight, I was talking about my armor-plated body, you screwed up little imp!"

"Yeah, sure you were you disgusting cockroach! I'll make you pay for even insinuating defiling the body of lord Freeza! Speaking of Bisecting, I think you would look better split in half!" Freeza forms a Destructo disk and flings it at Cell. Freeza is taken off guard when Cell vanishes behind him, kicking him into a row of large boulders. Freeza quickly jumps to his feet and they begin duking it out with their fist."I'm a lot stronger than I look you know, whatever data you have on me is vastly outdated. I had a second chance at Goku not too long ago. I was so close to victory I could taste it, far closer than you ever got." Freeza clucks a large energy beam at Cell's face, once again it is swiftly evaded.

Cell hangs suspended upside down above Freeza wagging his finger at him like a disappointed parent."You really haven't learned much since then. You're still slow and impulsive, just like your data said all those years ago."

"Don't you toy with me!" Freeza cries as he releases a small fury of energy blast in the air.It was then that he felt it, the one thing he dreaded the most from this encounter, Cell has gotten behind him catching him in a bearhug.

"How do you like this? I used this bearhug technique on that bratty little Saiyan Gohan."

"That Gohan? The same Gohan you lost to so many forgotten years ago? Yes, I know all about your history with the Saiyan monkeys on Earth. You are truly pitiful indeed, to lose to a monkey cub, a halfling at that." Freeza taunts as he laughs at Cell's expense. Cell remains uncharacteristically quiet as he's verbally berated by Freeza, squeezing the alien harder with each compounding insult. Freeza begins to feel light headed as the air is squeezed out of his lungs."I may have the overall power advantage, but when it comes to raw strength, I'm unfortunately bested by the insect. Damn my small stature! If I don't do something quickly bugboy could surpass me in this bout," he thinks to himself." I didn't want to do this so soon, but it seems you left me with no choice in the matter."

"Tapping out already? I don't blame you I always had the upper hand in this matchup, you knew it all along. While it's been fun crushing your bones to dust, I think I'll blast you away now. Don't worry though, you'll come back, this is Hell after all. I'm looking forward to doing it to you again very soon."

"You really are pathetic, bugboy. It's your choice...now feast your eyes on my glorious new transformation!" A golden aura starts to form around Freeza, a hot energy begins to engulf them both."You might want to step back Cell, it's about to get explosive," Freeza warns as the orb of light envelops them both. Cell doesn't budge and instead clutches Freeza tighter to his chest.

"You idiot, what are you doing?! You're about to be reduced to a pile of bug guts, and I'd rather not be dirtied by your entrails!"Instead of running, Cell puts up an android barrier around both of them. "You fool, that energy is going to crush us both!"

"Well then negate your transformation, moron! No way I'm letting go of you now." Freeza unenthusiastically repents, even though dying in Hell isn't the same as the mortal world, it's just as undignified."Now that I got you under control, I'm going to take advantage of this situation."

"ADVANTAGE? OF WHAT? PUT ME DOWN AT ONCE!" Freeza yelps in fear. "That disgusting animal wouldn't really..."

Cell glides back down to the forest floor, he drops Freeza to the ground, feeling comfortable that he squeezed enough life out of him to commence his lecture."You know Freeza, I'm not too sure if you're the voyeuristic type, assuming you come from an advanced civilized race and all. I personally have no qualms considering I am neither civil or of a particular race. Just a quick reminder, that despite it appearing that we're out in the open, we're all alone out here, so you can put that warrior pride stuff aside for now."

"What?! Is he seriously thinking that he and I are gonna..." he confides to himself. "You really think that I, Lord Freeza would..." 

Cell swiftly interjects, "Enough with the Lord Freeza crap! It's cute, but it get's a bit repetitive after awhile. Stop it with the overblown Napoleon complex and lighten up once in awhile."

"Lighten up? I'm in Hell for eternity and I'm currently stuck in a Hell, within a Hell with you for an entire year! Where is the fun in that?" Freeza Scolds.

"I've been trying to get to that part since we got here. Fighting is fun, but there are other pleasures to be had. You're really going to tell me that since you got here, each and every one of your fantasies has been to destroy Goku and company? Please tell me you at least fucked him during one?"

"Why would I ever dream of doing something so repulsive with my sworn enemy?! You are truly demented, bugboy and not in an endearing way," Freeza scoffs.

"Oh c'mon, not even once? I mean, it's not hard to tell that you have a boner this big for the guy." Cell gestures with his hand. "Wait...does your race even have penises?"

"Ugh, I want to puke now. You're just as juvenile as your mono digit aging scheme would imply. You're an android monstrosity obsessing over sex like a preteen juvenile. What need for procreation could you possibly have?" Freeza prods.

"None really, I am a species in and of myself, theoretically, I could populate billions of planets on my own. While I don't technically need reproductive organs, it's just one of the vestigial leftovers Dr. Gero never bothered to rid me of."

"Really? That could be quite a useful skill when forming an unstoppable galactic army. It's a shame he didn't get rid of your...unmentionables, otherwise, you'd be close to a near perfect being."

"A backhanded compliment, from the Great Lord Freeza? I do feel charmed... now then, are you going to answer my question or not?" Cell grumbles.

"Stop making this about my naughty bits. Now let's get back to what we originally came here for," Freeza angrily declares as he falls back to his feet.

"Give yourself some time to heal, before we go back at it."

"Back at it? Everything off your tongue has implications of fornication on it. I will not simply let you humiliate me and get away with it!" he lifts his hand over his head forming a purple energy orb. "My hands still work you know, I'll make sure to blow you to smithereens with them!"

"You sure will," Cell whispers. He grabs Freeza by the wrist, using his free hand to pull the back of Freeza's head forcing the two's lips to lock.

 The sudden tactile sensation causes his orb to dissipate as he tries to register the events that just transpired. His cheeks begin to fill blue with embarrassment, he pushes against Cells chest, coughing up his lungs from dry heaving. "You defiled me with your mouth?! Where are your manners, you filthy Earthling?"

"You didn't seem to mind. You're blushing, how adorable." Cell approaches Freeza this time being more forceful with his kiss, sliding his long bug-like tongue into Freeza's mouth. This time Freeza puts up less of a fight, reciprocating with his own tongue. They part their embrace momentarily. Freeza adjusts his head to the side, looking away from Cell's lustful eyes. "Is that some disgusting Earth custom you have, locking mouths? It's no wonder Earthlings are the biggest vector for germs in the galaxy."

"That could very well be true. Like I said before, this is all pre-programmed into my DNA. Might have been something I learned from Goku, or even that arrogant ape Vegeta."

"Not a surprise it was some disgusting habit of Goku's. I wish for nothing else then to see that loathsome primate and his traitorous Saiyan kin Vegeta, parish into a pile of dust!"

"You and me both. I'm still awaiting the day I can get my revenge on that damn dirty Goku and his despicable Saiyan son." Freeza and Cell stare at each other for what felt like a Hell's eternity, before vigorously locking lips again. Cell wanting to take things further, explores Freeza's alien body, searching for some insertion point."Err...You do have other orifices besides your mouth, right? Like... I don't know... An anus or something? If not I'm totally ok with just wrecking your mouth."

"How vulgar... If you're curious about my reproductive organs then fine, I'll disclose where it's all housed." Freeza demonstrates by lifting up his heavy lizard-like tail to make it more visible to Cell. "It's all under the base of my tail, stuffed in a cloaca of sorts. Unlike most earthlings my species doesn't have two sexes, we just choose which role we'd like to take at any given time. So if you're asking, yes, I have a penis. One of the benefits of dragging a heavy tail around is that I can control whether or not someone can mate with me by tightening my tail muscle..." Cell reaches the base of Freeza's tail lifting it up with one hand.

"That wasn't too hard." He says with a smirk. They lock lips once more as Cell explores with his fingers into Freeza's cloacal opening. Suddenly, he glimpses a slimy worm-like appendage wriggle out from inside "There it is, I could barely find it because it's so tiny. How do you even use that thing during sex? I can definitely tell you're a bottom," Cell chuckles.

"Quiet, you nasty bug!" Freeza is cut off by a tinge of pleasure from inside his body. Cell rubs against his cloacal walls in such a way that brought pleasure to the tiny alien. "This pleasurable feeling coursing through my body, I can't believe that overgrown grasshopper is making me feel this way." The stimulation elicits a moan from Freeza.

"Now we're getting somewhere!" Cell says with excitement. "You're so wet, my fingers a drenched in your fluids, now I'm curious how much of me you can handle."

"Just go on about it, you overgrown termite," Freeza hisses.

"With pleasure, just promise not to hate me afterward."

"I'm not sure If I can hate you any more than I already do. Now, please your Lord Freeza!"

"Fine, but don't tell me I didn't warn you."

"Well, how do you expect to do anything with that ostentatious codpiece in the way? Use your retractable tail or something," Freeza jeers.

"Oh, you wouldn't want me to use my tail on you. I hate you, but not that much. When I was talking about intact reproductive organs I was referring to this." As he says that a long, sticky appendage unfurls from near the black skin of his crotch, like a secret compartment. Eventually, it settles into a solid shape. 

Freeza looks on in horror, "You expect me to take all of that!? It's nearly one third of my tail length!"

"I can shift its size while inside you, but yes, I do expect you to take every inch of me. I wouldn't expect nothing less from the great lord Freeza after all...or are you willing to accept your defeat to me?" 

"Silents worm! Now get to work!" Cell complies, lifting Freeza's tiny body off the ground lining his entrance with his pulsating dick.

"I can't believe this is happening, how did a fight lead to all this?" He thinks to himself. Suddenly he's forced down, impaled by Cell's member as he is rapidly worked up and down his phallus. Cell glides him along his length, holding on to Freeza's waist to stabilize him. Freeza blushes with humiliation and pleasure as he is being used as a sex doll for the horny cicada daddy.

"Faster, you maggot!" Freeza yells. Cell picks up a frenzied pace. Freeza being so small that it required minimal thrusting on Cell or Freeza's part. The two move to the ground as Cell pumps into Freeza vigorously. Freeza clings under Cell's body for dear life as he is invaded with each swift stroke.

"You feel so great inside, Freeza." Cell says under his shaky breath as he moans profusely.

Freeza's penis begins throbbing, aching with need, he furiously reaches to grab himself considering his partner was completely disregarding his needs down there. In a flash, something changed with Cells pacing and demeanor. Freeza is unexpectedly tossed on to his knees aggressively.

"Hey you, I am not to be defiled from behind you…" Freeza is cut off as the pointed object bludgeons through what felt like his entire body. Freeza recoils in pain and fear. It felt as though the appendage has shifted into a needle-like shape, piercing Freeza's belly.

"Cell, I thought we weren't fighting this time!" Freeza feels that vestigial tail snaking around his throat cutting off his airway. Freeza thrashes mercilessly, trying to remove himself from the situation, but he's trapped. Cell has stopped his thrusting and left his penis inside of Freeza as it throbs and pulsates inside him. Freeza had never been more afraid in his life or his un-life then he was now, despite being already dead it felt all too real. He bends his neck back as much as he possibly can. He takes a peek from behind himself only to see an unusual creature, in a primitive-like stance hovering over his exhausted body. Cell begins lashing his tongue at the exposed skin around his neck as what felt like a jet of high-pressure water streams through Freeza's body. Only then was the vice grip around his neck loosened. For a moment they remained linked in coitus. Eventually, Cell comes back to his senses pulling out of Freeza leaving behind a hardened plug inside Freeza's cloacal cavity.

Freeza lays panting on his red throbbing belly trying desperately to catch his breath. "What the hell was that?! That wasn't exactly what I'd call pleasurable."

"It wasn't? Sorry, I blanked out for a bit. I'm ok now, I guess we can go back to fighting now if you want."

"Fighting?! My god, you're no better than Goku with your idiotic mentality. Look at what you did to me. Do I look like I'm suitable for combat in my current state to you!?"He says while pointing to his engorged belly.

"Oh, that little thing. Give it a few days, it'll eventually go away."

"Little thing? My stomach is huge! Did you lay your eggs in me?"

"Not quite. You see, if I used my tail on you those would be pre-gestated eggs and they'd eventually hatch, and eat their way out of your body which was what I was trying to avoid. This is a little less severe. You see, I can recombine my DNA with any living organism, no matter the sex, or species and create a unique genetic hybrid from our combined genetic materials. It's a lot different from my Cell jr clones."

"What are you trying to say exactly?"

"Congratulations, you're now a mommy...daddy? You did say your species was asexual so you should be used to it by now. Ok, Ciao!"  
With a blast of energy, Cell flies away into the sky leaving Freeza alone with a swollen belly.

"Hey, where do you think you're flying off to?! Get back here you deadbeat bugboy. When I catch up to you, I'm going to clip those wings of yours off with my bare hands!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much you're gonna get a lot of strange alien/bug physiology in this chapter. I felt compelled to write about strange alien bug sex after a dream I had about these two. That's all I have, for now. My home planet needs me.  
> (Slight edit. I just realized that in my story Freeza's race is actually hermaphroditic not asexual oops. I'm going to retcon it to hermaphroditic with induced parthenogenic/asexual capabilities or as I like to call them 'gay space whiptail lizard people')


	3. Two Peas In A Pod

Freeza flies full speed ahead to catch up to Cell. Having intercourse with that beast was one thing, but carrying his child was a far greater issue. ''I'm going to tear every last part of you to pieces! I'll show you how it feels to be at my mercy!" Freeza shouts. Freeza begins unloading a barrage of ki blast at Cell as his target gracefully evades each strike.

"Idiot, he doesn't realize it yet, but the organisms growing inside him are slowly sapping his strength. It'll only be a few minutes before he'll no longer be able to use his full strength or fly for that matter. I'll just let him find out the hard way."

"I got you now you lewd cockroach! Prepare for death!" He exclaims while pointing his fingers towards Cell. "Somethings wrong?" I-I can't conjure even a small beam, and suddenly I'm losing altitude as well!" A sudden gust of wind envelops his body as he descends to the ground at a breakneck speed. "THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!!!" He screams in terror as he is pulled towards the ground.

"He'll surely die from a fall from such heights… HAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!" Cell laughs uncontrollably, he stops to watch Freeza free fall."Have fun regenerating from being flattened like a pancake," he mocks. Suddenly an uncontrollable impulse wells up inside Cell. Instead of leaving the overgrown lizard to meet his death on the forest floor, he swoops in, catching Freeza in his arms. Freeza looks on stunned."Don't take this as me being sentimental, Freeza. That was my baser instinct to protect my genetic material kicking in. I can care less about you or those little bastards gestating inside of you. If I had it my way you'd be broken from your ear to your asshole right now." Freeza can see a blush form on his cheeks as he talks.

They approach a small patch of forest that was slightly sparse than the rest. Cell drops Freeza down and continues to fly off in the same direction."Get back here, insect! I will crush you under my foot, you hear me?!!!" He yells as Cell's silhouette disappears beyond the horizon.

"Great, now not only am I pregnant with the bugs bastard children, I can't even use my powers to vaporize him. Perhaps my true form is putting too much strain on my body. I suppose I shall revert back to base form to conserve energy." His body shrinks and his skin shrivels up pink, two giant horns emerge from the side of the dome on his head. "It's certainly not as strong, but long as I can regain some energy back I should have no problem destroying him." Freeza tested his abilities by hovering above the ground. "Well, it seems as though I can at least fly, but my ki blast are still pathetic. Very well, All I need is my flight to catch him, and my bare hands to strangle him." Freeza flies off in the direction he last saw Cell.

After hours of searching, he still cannot locate the bug, worst of all the sun started to go down causing the temperature to drop. "This is not good news, my reptilian-like form can't take such a sudden drop in temperature. I will surely freeze tonight if I don't find shelter" He flies around a bit more before looking for solace from the chilling wind that started nipping at his skin.The sky turns pitch dark, and the weather becomes unbearably chilly as he desperately gathers piles of sticks. He lits the pile on fire with the remnants of his once powerful ki blast. He sits slumped near the fire, arms wrapped around his knees and swollen belly.

"I hope you're happy, Freeza, this is what you clamored for after all." He says sarcastically, his teeth chattering after each syllable. It was then that he gets an earful of something intriguing in the distance, the humming sound grows louder as he approaches.  
"Could that be some kind of bizarre creature inhabiting this world, or could it…" He rushes over towards the sound as quickly as possible, he is then greeted by a hollow cave. He walks in slowly, examining every inch of the cave with his keen night vision.

"What the hell is that thing?!" He ponders as he lays eyes on a giant sticky cocoon affixed to the wall of the cave. He notices a head peeking out and is instantly dumbfounded when he realizes who it is. "Did that fool really get himself caught by a predator out here? How humorous, I wonder if he had his internal organs liquified?" Just the thought of Cell suffering brings glee to the small aliens face. Freeza walks up to the cocoon, using his tail to slap the face peeking out.

"WAKE UP, YOU IDIOT!" Get your bug butt out of that hideous excuse for a nest and help me find shelter!"

Cell opens his eyes. "I'm surprised you managed to catch up to me." Cell furrows his brow as he examines Freeza a bit more."What is with that form? You dropped from a solid 9 to a 7 after one mating session? Seems I can absorb handsomeness as well. Let me guess, you want to have sex again? Sorry, but I'm not in the mood tonight."

"I'm growing tired of your sass bug boy. Now, are you going to help me or not? If I don't find shelter I'll freeze out here!"

"Freee-za? Why is your name Freeza if you can't handle a little chill? That's false advertising if you ask me."

"My name has nothing to do with my climatic preferences, ok?! My race is cold-blooded and we are known for our cold disposition, now enough questioning our incredibly sensible naming scheme!"

"I made your face red again, that should be enough warmth for ya." Cell replies with a smirk.

Freeza is on the brink of shutting down as the cold wind glides against his thin naked skin. "Whatever, just make some room for me will you!"

"Go ahead, I'm not going to stop you."

"Fine, then I will!" Freeza test the structural integrity of Cell's nest, stretching the elastic sticky material as he climbs its surface.

"Disgusting! What materials did you use when constructing this eyesore?"

"Organic material."

"Organic material? Like what exactly?" Freeza interrogates.

"Nothing too fancy, just regurgitated plant matter."

"*sigh*" I was inseminated by a talking bug man, now isn't the time for me to get picky." He exclaims as he tucks himself under Cell. He adjusts himself, fumbling around to try to get as comfortable as possible in such an awkward arrangement. He curls up between Cell's long legs, Cell resting his head next to his.

"How do you even get comfortable in this? All this does is give me bad flashbacks to my own personal hell. Why would you choose to do this on your vacation of all things?"

Cell opens his eyes, letting out a small yawn."I got bored. If I'm not entertained, I'd rather just hibernate for a while."

"How long were you planning on hibernating, exactly?"

"The entire year, if you didn't come to pester me that is."

"Yet you had the nerve to mock my fantasies of fighting Goku? HA, what a joke!" I'll let you wallow in your filth for tonight but tomorrow we build an actual up to code dwelling. Do you hear me!?"

Cell falls silent, eyes completely closed, as Freeza remains on alert staring out towards the entrance of the cave. The moonlight seeps through creating dancing shadows on the walls. Freeza is caught off guard when that annoying hum starts up again, it was Cells wings rubbing against each other.

"How am I suppose to sleep with that intolerable racket?" Freeza muses to himself. He feels warm hands cradle his belly. Cell starts to rub Freeza's belly gently with his hands. Freeza blushes. He looks up at Cell and notices Cell lick his lips for a second as he caresses. Freeza gives a slight expression of concern, but that soon fades quickly as the warmth of their collective body heat puts all his worries to rest, and he drifts off to sleep in Cell's arms.


	4. Let It Sink In.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cell and Freeza become unintentional reality stars.

Sunlight begins to tide wave throughout the cave Cell and Freeza shared. Freeza instantly wakes as the warming heat of the sun radiates his face. Freeza rubs his eyes and lets out a loud yawn. He shifts his body around to face, Cell.

"I command you to rise, Bug boy! We have a lot of work to do today. I want our domicile completed by tonight as well as provisions gathered."

"Cell remains quiet. Freeza bites at his neck and slaps him around some more, but the bug does not budge.

"Lazy bum, I'll do it myself than." Freeza slips his way out of the nest and flies out the cave to find some breakfast.

"I wonder what kind of small creatures populate this planet. I hope they bothered to add them. When I said wasteland I didn't mean completely empty. Our bodies behave in a mostly mortal fashion in this realm after all."

Freeza finds something that excites him, a small body of water. He cups his hands and takes a drink. He looks down into the crystal clear pool of water hoping to find his favorite delicacy.

"I found it! A crustacean, just my luck! I normally wouldn't reduce myself to such a primitive behavior, but I guess in such situations I have to devolve back to my roots." Freeza aims his tail in the air like a scorpion and whips it down smashing the crab's hard body instantly.

"Nice, a tasty snack!" Freeza licks his lips as he anticipates the taste. "It's good to know that this is here, it'll be a decent source of food for now.Time to get to work on my home, But I'll need some muscle." Freeza nodes as he looks towards the cave. "I got a plan that'll be sure to get that bug boy to comply." He says with sadistic glee.

"YOU LOOK GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT!" A deep, distorted voice say's as it echoes throughout the cave. Cell feels sticky saliva coating his face, it's enough to wake him from is slumber. His sight is hampered by a large mouth with rows of large flattened teeth.The creature wasn't very tall but had a head equal to the size of its body with large spiked horns frilled on its crown. Cell looks on with eyes bulging out of his sockets, terrified to death of what will happen next.

"Back off!" He yells."Wait a second, I didn't recognize you at first, is that you, Freeza? You just keep getting uglier by the day. "He chuckles.

"You know, I really wouldn't be so nonchalant if I were you. You are my prey now!"

"Does this idiot really think he can hurt me in such a weakened state? What's his plan?"

Freeza goes in to bite down on Cells face, but Cell lets out a blast of energy ripping apart the cocoon.

"Now you've gone and done it, Freeza! I'm goin…" He is cut off when he looks down at Freeza in his base form. "What the hell" He starts to feel a large tail constrict around his body. "What is the meaning of this?" He cries out.

"Freeza claps his hands as he approaches closer. Ho, ho! That trick worked out amazingly well. It just goes to show that you really do have a brain the size of a cockroach's."

Cell wriggles and struggles, Freeza constricts him tighter." Damn, you Freeza!"

"My tail is amongst the strongest in the universe, so I wouldn't struggle too much if I were you. Make one move, and I'll crush you like the bug that you are."

"Fine, what is it you want from me now? Do you want to fuck? I'm going to be completely frank with you. You're not fertile, so I'm not interested in you like that. The form you're currently in isn't helping either."

Freeza fastens his long tail around Cell's mouth temporarily muting him. "Silence, worm! You're not going anywhere. You're going to hunt for food, and you're going to build a house for me, got that?" Cell shakes his head in agreement.

"Good boy." Freeza cheers."By the way, is their anyway you could remove this parasite you implanted in my body?"

Freeza loosens his gripe on Cell's mouth. "I'm afraid not Freeza. Even if I were to kill you, the same cells I implanted in your body would regenerate with you. It wouldn't matter if I broke you down to your subatomic structure it would always reconfigure the same. Face if Freeza, you're not getting out of this one so easily." Cell informs.

"Very well, but you're going to be there when I give birth, so I can fully understand what these organisms will be like."

"Why don't you just give birth and kill them, that's what I would do?"

"I plan on it, but before I do I'd like to study the physiology of these abominations."

"Not what I'd call entertaining, but have at it."

"So says the bug that wanted to sleep for an entire year on vacation?"

"If I'm bored, I might as well hibernate."

"I'm here so that's not a valid excuse I'm afraid."

"You stopped being attractive and you didn't want to fight me. What else was I suppose to do?"

"You're just like Goku.Goku! Goku! Goku! "Freeza chants as he starts to jump around, scratching himself while mimicking a monkey.

Cell's face contorts in anger as Freeza points and laughs at his expense.

Meanwhile, at the realm of the Kai's…  
Elder Kai is browsing his subscriptions feed on GodTube. ''No, not that. Already saw that video, definitely not watching that." He scrolls down until one, in particular, catches his eye. He spits the tea he was drinking all over his screen. "Cell... gets Freeza... pregnant?!!" He clicks into what looked like a live feed showing Freeza and Cell walking in the forest. Freeza's belly clearly visible as he walks alongside a tied up Cell.

"Two of the evilest beings in all of universe 7, pregnant!? Elder Kai couldn't contain his laughter as he rolled on the floor trying to catch his breath." Shin! Get over here, you have to see this!"

"What is it elder kai?" Shin exclaims.

"You got to see this to believe it!" Elder Kai says as he points to the video.

"No way, I can't believe it, that's got to be fake. There are a lot of fake GodTube videos, you shouldn't always go off the thumbnail picture. It's clickbait most of the time." Shin warns.

"No, it's authentic. You be the judge, look!"

The Supreme Kai observes the video some more to test its validity. ''It seems you're right. It sure looks like it, but why and how could this of all things happen?"

"Beats me, It sure makes for quality entertainment though." Elder Kai retorts.

"Hey, look elder Kai. It seems this is only part 5 of a series of videos. We should check out the others. Let's try part 3, it looks like they're fighting from the thumbnail. I was always curious to see who would win in a fight between the two." They play a section of the video only to see a disturbing snippet of the two during sex.

"Oh, my...!" Shin says nearly fainting. Elder Kai shields Shin's eyes as he watches on blushing.

"I'm flagging the video and filing a complaint. Perverse content like that is strictly against GodTube policy." Elder Kai clicks away from the video as Shin recovers from his second-hand embarrassment.

"I got to tell Beerus and Whis about this, they'll eat it up!" Shin runs off to inform Beerus and Whis while Elder Kai plays the video back.

"Oh, really now? I'll inform Lord Beerus as soon as possible. Yes, I'll be sure to give him your regards, thanks." Whis disconnects from the call on his staff.

"Oh, Beerus-sama! I have some very salacious news I think you'd be more than interested in indulging in!" Whis fills Beerus in on the situation. Beerus spits out his drink.

"Are you kidding me? The great and mighty lord Freeza, pregnant by that overgrown bug! You really can't make this stuff up."

"They're currently on their hell vacation, it seems as though Freeza was the one who invited Cell to his fantasy."

"Thank Zeno for Hell vacation! Usually, I find Freeza's typical yearly Goku fantasy boring, but this really kicks it up a notch. Whis! Do you still have those bags of earth Popcorn you got from Bulma? We're gonna need a whole lot of it." I know what I'm doing this weekend and it's not destroying planets." Beerus says as he reclines his feet."

"Of course Beerus-sama, I'll even go the extra mile and stop by Bulma's and have her fix up an exquisite meal for the occasion."

"Splendid Idea, Whis. What channel is it on anyway, I much rather watch the live stream than wait for it to be uploaded to GodTube."

"Shin said it's on Hell resorts channel nine trillion fifty-seven. I'll be back in a few." Whis says as he uses is staff to warp to Earth.

 

A few hours later, Bulma is cleaning up in the kitchen after cooking for Whis and Beerus. Goku starts bothering Vegeta who is sitting out on the patio.

"Yo, Geta!

"What is it now, Kakarot?"

" Whis just told me something really funny just now. I'm not sure If it was a secret but.."

"It better not be about my dancing at Bulma's party again. Let it die already."

"No, no, not that. It has to do with Freeza and Cell."

"Freeza!... and Cell! Don't tell me that bastard found away back to the mortal realm again? I swear he's like a cold that never goes away. If he's coming back let me take care of him alone this time."

"It's not that at all Vegeta, it's even better! So old Kaioshin was browsing GodTube when he found a video of Cell and Freeza together in hell, and Freeza was pregnant! Can you believe it!"

"The Great Lord Freeza with a baby bump?! I never heard of something so absurd in my life."

"Yeah, I'm shocked as well. I didn't know Freeza was a woman. Although, he kinda looks and sounds like one."

"He's not...it's more complicated than that. Didn't they ever teach you earthlings about alien biology in school? Whatever, that's not important. Just the thought of Freeza having a child is disturbing enough, I don't even want to think about how they conceived it. Let me know if there's a baby shower in hell. I'll be sure to bring my final flashes a parting gift to them." Vegeta gloats.

"Aw, that's so sweet of you, Vegeta. I'm more excited about how strong the kid will be. Imagining the fighting potential of a child from Cell and Freeza gets me pumped!" Goku says while jabbing at the air with his fist.

"Is there any way for us on earth to tune in to that freakshow, Kakarot?"

"Whis told me it's a channel only available on GodTV! Whis is actually going to take me back to his place to watch some. Do you want to come with?"

"No thanks I'm already disgusted by the thought, I'd need bleach to burn that visual from my eyes. Besides, Bulma wants me to read Bulla bedtime stories before her nap."

"Suit yourself, Geta! SEE YA!"

Whis and Goku are transported back to Beerus's place. "Oh Lord Beerus, I got the food and a special guest to join us for awhile."

"Special guest, huh?" Beerus rounds the corner to see Goku standing there."Why did you bring that idiot around!? You know that Hell vacation days are my only time to decompress."

"He won't be here for long, Beerus sama. He's just looking for a special request, in regards to Freeza and Cell."

"It's probably something incredibly stupid and pointless, but I'll bite." Beerus replies.

"Let me speak to them, please?! I just want to leave a message for them." Goku pleads.

"A Message? Yes, I forgot it was possible for the God's to call in during hell vacation day. Fine, but just one and you leave, got it?" Goku shakes his head agreeably.

Whis staff glows and he starts speaking into it." I have a hell request call in for Lord Beerus. Yes, channel nine trillion fifty-seven. Thank you, I'll hold." Whis waves for Goku to come over, Goku in confusion points to himself before stumbling over to Whis.

"You have approximately one minute to speak. They won't be able to see you and you won't be able to hear them, ok."

"Right!" Goku says enthusiastically.

 

Back in Hell, Freeza continues his taunting of Cell!

"NICE DANCE MOVES, FREEZA!"

A loud booming voice reverberates throughout the landscape."Did, did you hear that voice! No way, it can't be!"

"Did you sneak Goku into this simulation, Freeza? Considering how much you love the guy I wouldn't be surprised. I was getting bored anyway, maybe you'll finally get that chance to fuck Goku after all." Cell laughs.

"Silence, idiot. It's clear there is something else afoot here."

"So I don't have a lot of time to talk, but I just wanted to give you guys some advice on, babies."

"Advice on child rearing from, Goku? Is this some kind of a sick joke?!" Freeza says snidely.

"Freeza, try to go easy on the little guy, ok. It's not easy being the kid of two of the evilest villains in universe7. Give him time to grow and I'm sure he'll reach his full potential."

"What in Hell's name am I hearing right now? This can't be the real Goku!" Freeza says with trepidation in his voice.

"I highly doubt it's him. I think the God's are fucking with us right now. In our vacation none the less, such savages"

"Oh, and Cell, be sure to treat Freeza right, ok. I know how much ChiChi hates it when I don't live up to my fatherly duties with Goten. Deep down, Freeza's actually a good person, He just enjoys fighting a lot like I do which unfortunately lead him down the wrong path in life."

Freeza starts to blush, hiding his face in shame." Shut up, you stupid Saiyan trash!"

"Am I still to believe you don't have a crush on him? The way you're acting is akin to a teenage schoolgirl on prom night."

"Get away from me!" Freeza, loosens his hold on Cell, running to hide behind a tree. Cell rushes over to confide Freeza.

"What did I do?" Goku says.

"Cut his mic, Whis. Looks like that idiot caused more drama than I'd had hoped for. If they break-up you know I'll have to vaporize you?"

"Lord Beerus gets very invested in his reality entertainment, Goku. You should've known that by now."

"Sorry guys, I just got really excited about the idea of fighting their kid someday."

"That's not ever going to happen. Even if they were to be revived with the dragon ball's after the year is up their bodies reset back to their hell states. Any child born in a mortal simulation world will be annihilated after the time limit is up." Beerus explains.

"Aw, really? That sucks...But did you have to cut me off? I had more to say."

"GET OUT!!! Beerus screams.

 

The fantasy realm of Freeza and Cell was quiet for a moment. "Freeza, I can assure you that voice we heard back there wasn't the real Goku's. The God's are just messing with our heads. If we were to be honest with ourselves, there was never a true vacation from Hell. We are forever at the mercy of the God's."

"You idiot that's not why I'm over here." Freeza runs over to the tree and vomits. "You did say a few days, right? Before the abomination wriggles from my body, correct?"

"Yeah, well…day... or days. What's the difference you should be happy to finally get that pest out of you."

"That's not the point, you…" Freeza props himself up against the tree trying his hardest to breathe. He braces himself for the pain that's to ensue.


	5. Don't Get Too Attached

"This pain is excruciating. I've been cut in half my fair share of times, but this is too intense for even me!" Freeza cries as he struggles not to puke again. He spreads his legs in preparation as he educes his labor pains.

"AHHHHHHH…Kill me now!" Freeza screams.

"Will do!" Cell exclaims with his palm extended out towards Freeza.

"I Didn't mean literally, you Termite!"

"Well, then how can I be of use to you? I'm really only good at two things, killing, and sex, but you won't let me do either to you."

"Just shut up!" Freeza retorts.

Cell crosses his arms, tapping his foot impatiently. Freeza clenches his teeth, gripping the grass firmly between his hands.

"AHHHHHH!!! MAKE IT STOP!!"

"I tried but you wouldn't let me." Cell scoffs. Freeza picks up a nearby rock and throws it at Cell's head in anger.

"You're really making it harder for me not to blast you right now." Cell walks over to Freeza, lifting him off the ground.

"Put me down this instant!" Freeza screams kicking his feet in the air. Cell sit his back against the tree, placing Freeza down on his lap.

"I Explicitly said, I'm not going to copulate with you!"

Cell wraps his arms around Freeza's shoulders. The beating of his heart and the rhythm of his breathing calms him down for a moment. Suddenly, a sharp pain erupts inside of Freeza, and he lets out one final blood curtailing scream."AHHHHHHH!!!" He tosses and turns as Cell holds on to his body. Freeza's eyes remain shut as he catches his breath. They both look on stunned at what Freeza had birthed. It was a gelatinous green blob the size of a tire with a red liquid nucleus.

"That's not an egg, It looks like a giant lump of protoplasm. It would seem we aren't genetically compatible after all. A shame really, I was hoping to engage in some playful vivisection."

"No, they're alive, look closer at it. They're suspended in that red fluid in the center," Cell says while poking at the blob with his finger.

"I see it now… My God! This is a cacophony of genetic backwash. Nothing of this is congruent with a stable lifeform."

The substance consists of small baseball sized creatures with big heads and huge fish-like eyes. "See look, that one has my eyes and my head shape, but your skin and wings. That one over there is the complete inverse of that one, Freeza's eyes drift over to Cell in utter disgust."You could wipe out entire species with this bizarre reproductive ability."

"I know, I'm great aren't I?" He boasts.

"Don't flatter yourself. So what happens next, when will they hatch?"

"They'll eat their way through that fluid chamber shortly."

"You talk as though you've done this before."

"I don't kiss and tell," Cell says with a look of satisfaction on his face.

Freeza shot Cell a quick look of disdain before shifting back into his true form, giving his hands a quick stretch as his form re-emerges."That's more like it," he says as he stretches his fingers.

"I concur," Cell replies.

Freeza returns his focus back to the green blob. "What are you waiting for? Destroy it already!" Cell says in a deriding tone.  
He looks on without a word. "Oh, I get it, you want to wait for them to emerge first, right? Good idea."

They stand around for half an hour waiting for any sign of movement. "Ok, it's been long enough.'' Cell exclaims impatiently. "Time is up, little ones." Cell places his hand towards the blob ready to fire.

"WAIT!!!" Freeza screams.

"Don't tell me what to…" He is cut off as they both observe tiny heads sprout from the slimeball. They all swarm Freeza as they emerge from the goo. He instantly panics, jumping into a ducking position. He lifts his head, looking around at his body that is now covered with small beady eyes.

"Looks like they took a liking to you, Freeza." Cell playfully remarks.

"It's not as bad as it would seem, they're actually helping to regulate my body temperature fairly well. I'll keep them around for as long as they can be of use to me."

Cell grits his teeth in frustration.

"We should start gathering food before we construct our home," Freeza instructs.

"Speaking of, I'm starving. I could just store energy through photosynthesis, but that takes too long. All that time in that dark cave has left me famished."

"Well then, what are you waiting for? Go find some."

"All in due time, by the way, would you mind if I took one off your hands?" Cell says pointing at a baby latched on to Freeza's body.

"Be my guest."

Cell grabs a youngling off Freeza's shoulder. He holds it up by the wing examining it for a second. Freeza hears a crunching noise and looks over to investigate.

"Mmmm, not Bad," Cell says while licking his fingers.

"Did you just eat one of our children!?" Freeza shrieks.

"Our children? Where did all this maternal instinct come from? A few minutes ago you were so eager to blow them all up."

"That's beyond the point, blowing them up is one thing, but eating is another entirely. You truly have no code of conduct, do you?"

"Duh, that was one of the first things I told you about when we met. You really need to pay better attention, besides, I'm not designed to take care of children."

"Stop creating them then."

"Involuntary response, it can't be helped." He says while shrugging his shoulders.

"Whatever, I don't care let's move on." Freeza gets up from the ground adopting an unusual quadrupedal gait.

"You know, when you walk like that you look like a momma opossum."

"Don't compare me to a lowly earth organism, bugboy."

They continue walking until they reach the pond Freeza discovered earlier. "I found delicious crab in here earlier, this will be a good place to start."

Cell starts blasting crustaceans until the whole pool was devoid of life, he then stacks them in a neat pile by a nearby tree. "There, happy now?"

"Not quite, but at least you tried your best," Freeza mocks.

"I created a dead zone in that body of water and still you're not satisfied? You're a hard one to please."

Cell and Freeza rest for a bit near the pond as they eat, "I do wonder how long they will remain attached to me like this?" At that moment Freeza's whole body comes to life with movement as beating wings start fluttering away.

"Where are they going?"

"They can take care of themselves."

"…But my species incubate their young for over 50 years, yet these things behave like they need no parental supervision at all."

"It's not an even split between our DNA, most are programmed to behave like me." The cloud of younglings begins to ascend to the sky, Cell promptly takes off after them.

"Not again! You're not getting out of building my house!" Freeza screams shaking his fist into the air.

Cell flies back to Freeza rubbing his stomach,"I had to get one for the road. You're missing out."

"I'll pass," Freeza replies as he stares into the pond.

"What's wrong now? Don't tell me you miss them?"

"No, it's not that... It was just so sudden. It would have been a let down to even killing them. They didn't seem to have any attachment to me at all, where is the fun in that?"

"You may have spoken too soon," Cell points to Freeza's chest.

 

Freeza looks down to see a tiny white youngling clutched to the jewel on his chest. "Hm... seems we have a straggler. On closer examination, this one does favor me more asides for it's spotted skin and wings."

"That one has grown attached, why not kill it then?" Cell says with a large grin.

"I was just getting to that," Freeza says nervously. He detaches the baby whose eyes still remain firmly shut from his chest and places it on the ground. He starts charging up a beam on the tip of his finger, aiming it squarely at the small creature. He pauses before putting his hand back to his side.

"Don't tell me you've gone weak, Freeza?" Fine, I'll give it a whirl." Cell fires off a ki blast at the child. Freeza steps in the way slapping the blast into a nearby tree. His pupils dilate as he looks down at his own hands in disgust.

"Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Destroyer of planets, Conquer of worlds reduced to a mother bear defending her cub."

"No, It's just that… My father tried to destroy me when I was young too. As a mutant with exceptionally strong genes, he was expecting much more from his offspring. Given how time intensive caring for our young can be, incubating a child of low potential is an aggravating conundrum for most. A year after I had hatched my father felt I had not exceeded his power level so he tried to kill me. It was my instinct to survive that helped me remain alive and prove to my father I was worthy of the name Freeza. If he had succeeded, it would have never lead to the mighty Freeza empire we know today."

"That's… the funniest story I've ever heard. You do spin the most humorous of yarns. Cell chuckles. "We shall see how long your baby fever last."

Freeza picks the baby from the ground placing it back on his chest."I'll wait to see it's true fighting potential. If it grows up and is still a weakling, then I'll blow it up."

"Can I hold him?" Cell says with his palms extended.

"No, you may not. I still remember what you did to the others back there."

"Fine, have it your way!" Cell sneers. Freeza walks ahead with the baby clutched to his chest. Cell flies closely behind them as he follows.

"Hey, Freeza! Ready for round two!?"

Freeza turns around and witnesses Cell with his penis unfurling from his crotch area. "Did you really have to do that in front of the child, you puerile nitwit!?" He ignores Cell's sexual advances and continues to walk ahead.

"I'm not going to quit following you."

"Well then make yourself useful and gather some wood."

"I already have woo…"

Freeza promptly cuts him off. "N-NO! Shut it! Don't you dare say it! Don't even think you're getting any from me until you build that house!"

Cell grumbles to himself and flies off to gather supplies. Freeza lets out a sigh of relief and relaxes as he awaits his return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapters, it looked a lot longer on paper.


	6. I'm Not Done With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More weird alien/bug sex takes place. Some stuff regarding Freeza's anatomy towards the very end might make some readers squeamish, just a warning.

Freeza lays underneath the shade of a tree, gazing up at the tranquil blue sky, pondering the events of the past day. He tilts his head down to view the small creature that lay on his chest, its body moving with each exhale.

"Are you alive down there?" Freeza remains still expecting some response in return. ''Hmm, you can't communicate yet, I assumed considering you had that abominations DNA you'd age quicker. Since you can't speak, I suppose a proper name is in order. Hmm, let me think… how about Tundra? I think it has a nice ring to it, wouldn't you say?" The baby lets out a small yawn and continues its inactivity."I gather that's a yes," he says with a smile. Freeza returns his attention upwards,"The bug has been absent for an awfully long time now, perhaps he's abandoned his responsibilities, but more than likely not. His primitive instincts will always lead him back to me, like a moth to a flame...speak of the devil."

Cell arrives caring a large pile of lumber, he tosses it to the ground near where Freeza lay.

"Don't throw it at me, you idiot!'' He yells running for cover.

"Sorry, not sorry... I'm really ticked off at you right now," Cell replies angrily. He glides down next to the angry alien, he reaches down to grab Freeza up by the waist." Now, where were we," he says while pulling Freeza in for a kiss, Freeza quickly rebuffs his advances with a hand to the face.

"You have the nerve to attempt defiling me with your mouth? You didn't construct anything, you just threw everything around haphazardly," Freeza says pointing at the littered floor. ''Build my house, and maybe, just maybe, I'll let you touch me!"

"Fine," Cell walks over, grabs two pieces of wood, he places them on the ground having them lean against each other. "There that's enough coverage for you," he says while smacking his hands together.

"I'm not amused by your childish antics, bugboy. Didn't that Dr.Gero of yours teach you anything about constructing a dwelling?"

"Of course not, I was designed to destroy all of humanity, what need would I have for home-construction?

"You're not exactly bright... Fine, follow my instructions. First, you'll need to lay a foundation."

Freeza does his best to coach Cell in home construction. "What are you doing!? Those two pieces aren't fitting properly and that one over there is hanging, FIX IT NOW! Why is this not in its proper order? Get it together, maggot!" Freeza circles Cell, cracking his whip-like tail at him with each mistake.

"You're a control freak, you know that?" Cell says as he places another piece of the roof together.

"Thanks for the compliment," Freeza replies with a smirk.

After a few hours, the house is completed. It isn't anything lavish, just a small cabin like structure in the woods that the two could share together.

"Phew! It looks like we're all done."

"Where does the "We" come into all this?"

"Without my masterful direction, this wouldn't have been possible." Freeza admires his house from every angle, It's quaint, and at the same time spacious enough for someone of his stature.

Cell charges up an energy beam towards the cabin, Freeza quickly grabs hold of his arm to stop him."What in god's name do you think you're doing!?"

Cell dissipates his energy, shifting his eyes away from Freeza," Sorry, the house looks perfect enough to destroy."

"Why thank you, It really does look good enough to disintegrate, doesn't it?"

Cell shakes his head in agreement as he hoists Freeza into his arms, "Now, let's use it for it's intended purpose," he whispers slyly into Freeza's ear. Freeza crawls away like a tiny gecko from his grasp, leaping his way back to the ground.

"Where are the provisions, Cell?"

"The what?"

"The food we gathered earlier, bug brain."

"Oh, that…I ate all of it."

Freeza fumes with anger but manages to calm himself relatively quickly, "Cell... how were you expecting for me to feed a newborn child with no provisions?"

"The child is food! There, problem solved."

Freeza gets up and walks towards the cabin," You are not staying here tonight!" he screams as he continues his march.

"Come on, not this again...Ok, fine." Cell lifts his arm in the air, he forcefully brings it down onto the other cutting it clean in half, It rolls to the ground dripping blueish green blood. He picks it up, brandishing it towards Freeza, "Here feed it this!" he yells throwing his severed arm at Freeza.

Freeza jumps back reflexively, "You chop off your own bloody limb thinking I would feed it to my child? Tundra will not grow up to become a disgusting cannibal like yourself!"

"Tundra? Oh, so that's what you named the little shit?'' Cell Extends the nub where his arm once was and outbursts a fresh new one, "It's great being part Piccolo."

"If you're done with your infantile shenanigans, Tundra and I are turning in for the night."

"Errrrr, give me 5 minutes, ok," Cell flies off.

"I've got him wrapped right around my finger, soon he'll be under my foot as well," Freeza muses to himself with glee.

It's noticeably dark by the time Cell comes back, this time with four crustaceans. Freeza divvies up the portions amongst the three of them as they sit by a blazing campfire.

"Ok, so two for me, and two for Tundra... Oops, I suppose that leaves nothing for you," Freeza mocks shooting a glance of indifference aimed at Cell.

"If that's suppose to hurt my feelings? You might want to try harder," Cell says with his hands folded.

"I was only joking. It's more like, four for me, and none for you, Tundra is too small to eat one on his own."

"Are you sure that thing isn't stillborn? It hasn't moved an inch since it's been born."

"I saw him yawn earlier, Tundra is most certainly living," As Freeza eats he chews up small bits of food feeding it to Tundra with his fingers."See look he's eating right now."

"Disgusting! You're regurgitating food for that little maggot? I've never seen a more revolting sight in my life, subject me to more punishment why don't you."

"You're one to talk, bugboy," Freeza gets up, using a gust from his powerful tail to put out the flames. "Time for us to retire to our living quarters," Freeza pauses for a moment looking back at Cell, "Won't you join us this night?"

"You didn't need to ask!" Cell hurries to his feet following closely behind Freeza.

Freeza opened the door stepping inside first, Cell follows in behind only to hit his head on the top of the door frame. "Ohohohoho!" Freeza laughs as Cell rubs his head in aggravation.

"Why is this damn place so small?!" He says as a Glowing light starts forming from his hand.

"You built it for me, remember? It's in no way meant to accommodate the likes of you."

Cell curses under his breath as he ducks his way through the tiny cramp house. It's late noon, the sun was barely visible. The two didn't have problems navigating their cabin both being well equipped for low light settings, with the moonlight providing extra support.  
Upon passing the threshold, Cell forcefully pins Freeza against the nearest wall, nibbling at the porcelain skin around his neck.

He pushes back against Cell's advances."Wait, you fool! Tundra is still here, remember?"

"What are we supposed to do all night with that little pipsqueak around?" Cell grunts.

"Sleep, I suppose."

"You've got to be kidding me! I'm sick of that little brat getting in the way of my fun! That's it, somethings getting blasted in here! It's either you or him, someones getting blasted tonight!" He yells in a fit of rage.

"I was fully expecting you to throw one of your conniption fits, which is why I was purposely toying with you. You can calm down, I'm putting Tundra to rest for the night.''

"Where are you going to put him, so he doesn't get in our way?"

Freeza walks over to the farthest end of the cabin, he pulls out a small compartment stuffed with bedding." That's why I had you construct this area for the little one. When I was young, I liked being in dark cramped spaces, I though Tundra would like the same. Goodnight, my future destroyer of planets," Freeza closes the compartment shut.

"Out of sight, out of mind," he exclaims with a sigh of relief. The lizard shifts his eyes over to Cell who is now sitting on the bedding they laid out on the floor, gesturing with his finger for Freeza to come over.

"Take a seat."

"Ever the impatient one, aren't we?" Freeza slowly makes his way towards Cell.

"Don't keep me waiting, I had to put up with enough of your crap to get to this point."

"I don't owe you anything," Freeza goads.

Cell uses his large body to pin Freeza to the ground, "You're not going to slip away from me this time." He starts lavishing Freeza's neck in soft kisses, Freeza lays on his back taking in every tactile embrace Cell delivers to his soft skin. He feels Cell's long retractible appendage resting itself near his tail, Freeza takes the initiative putting his prehensile tail to work giving Cell's dick a tug. Cell lets out a muffled moan while his lips still work their way up Freeza's neck.

"My apologies, It would seem my tail has slipped."

"You're being extra naughty tonight, Freeza."

Freeza guides Cell off of his body, crawling on his knees as he does, he grips Cell, stroking him and licking up his shaft simultaneously. He teases the head with this tongue, exploring its shape with his tiny mouth. Freeza shifts his eyes to view Cell's expression of euphoria as he continuously sucks on him, feeling Cell's body spasm under his fingers with each touch.

"I've inforced my will upon you. Look at you, you can barely maintain control," Freeza says with an air of accomplishment.

"Is that what you think is going on here? It seems that I've let you get too comfortable," Cell flips the situation around, grabbing Freeza up by the ankles, using both hands to forcefully press his small frame against the ground, his legs now wide open and ready to be explored by Cell's fingers.

"Everything is going as I intended. I'll fool him into thinking he has the upper hand, for now," Freeza thinks to himself.

"Open up, Freeza, you know you want to," Cell purrs.

Freeza thrashes his legs about in a fruitless effort to free himself. "You're a feisty one Freeza, but you're no match for me I'm afraid." Cell drops to Freeza's belly giving it a good lick before making his way downwards. Freeza has the area between his groin and tail closed off, leaving nothing of interest visible.

"Playing hard to get? Looks like I'll have to stretch you out a bit." Cell frees Freeza's now bruised right ankle while using his corresponding hand to press into the gap between Freeza's groin. He embraces Freeza in a kiss as he vies for entrance into his body, he can feel muffled moans try to escape from Freeza's lips as he glides his bug-like tongue into his mouth.

"Ahhhh! Ooh! Ahhh!" He cries out. ''Damn you, I didn't anticipate being amorous so soon," He thinks to himself as Cell further prods around the cushioning between his legs. The valley finally relents as Freeza tiny purple appendage makes an appearance.

"I knew you couldn't resist me for long," He says with a devilish smirk on his face. He uses the crack in Freeza defense to pry him open some more, his large spindly fingers stretching him open from end to end, It was a struggle, like fighting to keep a bear trap from shutting.

"You're a lot tighter than before, It's getting me even more excited."

Freeza looks on in amusement "You shall find out soon enough," he warns.

Cell moves his head down to Freeza's dick, taking it all in one go, wrapping his tongue around as he sucks, Freeza's Pseudo-clit growing more ridge from all the attention.

"Ahhhhh…Curse you!" He screams in pleasure.

Cell continues to work Freeza until he cums in his mouth. Cell licks his lips, "Such delicious nourishment, I want more."

Cell, satisfied that he's loosened Freeza up enough, uses his free hand to level his penis with Freeza's entrance. He stops first to take in the scene, gazing at the quivering mess beneath him.

"You know, Freeza, this is how I always envisioned you, truly this is perfection to behold."

"I could change my mind at any time," Freeza snaps while desperately clinging to whatever oxygen he can gather.

Cell chuckles, "You can barely speak, nonetheless think. I'm in your head now, you've given me complete control." He presses himself into Freeza slowly, eliciting more reactions of pleasure from the small alien.

"Such a peculiar structure you have. To think, that the Great Lord Freeza, piss, shits and fucks all from the same hole. You're the very definition, of a dirty slut!" Cell taunts.

Freeza does his best to look offended by the comment, his face a red hot mess from constant arousal as Cell presses deeper into his hole.

"You don't know how long I've waited for this," He says while thrusting harder into Freeza.

"It's only been a day, idiot," Freeza replies while huffing underneath Cell's chest. "I just have to hold out a bit longer...can't lose my composure just yet," he says as his hole expands and contracts with each thrust, waiting patiently for any sign of variation in Cell's demeanor.

"He's going a lot longer than last time," Freeza thinks to himself. He is suddenly taken off guard when Cell starts switching positions. "He tried this the last time he blanked out, this could be my chance to enact my control."

Cell tucks his hands under Freeza's armpits lifting him onto his lap."I'm tired of doing all the work, Freeza. It's about time you made yourself useful to me."

"Think twice before you speak, insect!" Freeza hisses as he makes himself comfortable on Cell's dick. He wiggles his hips, clumsily trying to find a good rhythm to ride Cell.

Cell looks on unamused. "Where did this shy act come from? You know what you're doing, stop playing coy with me," he scolds.

"I don't know how to proceed, please teach me everything you know, Cell," Freeza laughs internally as he knowingly plays dumb.

"There is no way I'm going to believe that you were virginal and pure before I defiled you. Since you're boring me to tears right now, I'll take over from here." Cell latches his hands around Freeza's hips, fucking him up and down his length before abruptly slowing his pace to a crawl.

"Cell?" Freeza gets no answer, he grins from ear to ear anticipating what happens next. "I'll make him snap out of it, alright."

Cell suddenly springs back to life grabbing Freeza by the shoulder and biting down, droplets of blue blood cascades down his alabaster skin. Freeza arches his back tossing his head as though in pure bliss, exciting Cell even more. Cell intending on going back for more is caught off guard by a squeezing sensation in his groin, causing him to regain his old demeanor.

"What the hell, is t-this… feeling? I feel like I'm being sucked dry by you."

"That's because you are," Freeza retorts with a sadistic look on his face. "I might do you one better and break you in half instead!" Unbeknownst to Cell, Freeza has as much control over his sexual organs as he does his prehensile tail. Freeza starts tightening around Cell's penis, causing him to fall back agony, It was a confusing concoction of pain and euphoria as Freeza constricts even more.

"You know I can break it off, right?"

"You wouldn't dare," Cell says flustered.

Freeza, uses his muscle control to twist his cloacal walls in, causing Cell's penis to bend slightly, Cell winces in agony.

"OHOHOHOHO! You fell into my trap, like the cockroach you are! I've been waiting for this moment ever since you took advantage of me, but no longer shall I suffer under you! Admit your defeat, and maybe I'll go easier on you."

Cell instinctively panics and starts sliding back towards the door."Fool! I'm still attached to your body, you're going nowhere until I've had my fun torturing you." Freeza got a sick thrill in seeing Cell grovel beneath him, he wanted nothing more than to squash the cockiness out of him.

"You really thought I would let you implant me with another parasite, is that how you thought this would go?"

''...'' Cell remains silent.

"WELL DID YOU!" Freeza scolds.

" I just thought… argh… '' Cell flinches as Freeza whips his tail down on his hand. Freeza waste no time using his powerful internal muscles to suck Cell in, adopting his own rhythm, as he bucks around on Cell's dick. "I knew you were holding back," Cell grunts as he tries to hold back his moan.

Freeza penis emerges again and he fondles himself while riding Cell, to what felt like his death. He finally finishes, cumming over Cell's body. After one last sucking motion, Cell nearly faints from the orgasmic high. Upon recovering, he sees Freeza lifting himself off his dick that was now shriveling itself away. As Freeza stands, a gush of clear fluid starts seeping down his thighs.

"Did you just witness that? That's all the gunk you clogged me up with last time. This time I was able to prevent you from impregnating me by closing off my vaginal cavity and expelling your seminal fluids. It could have easily been avoided during our first encounter if I had time to anticipate it."

Cell scratches his head in bemusement as though all the intelligence had been drained from his brain. Freeza starts to notice Cell's arousal sprouting back up again.

"I can easily defeat you at any time, observe." He straddles Cell again, doing another swift vacuum motion within his body. Cell moans loudly as he is possessed once more by Freeza. Once again Freeza rises to his feet with pools of cum dripping between his legs.

"Don't you get it? You're not a challenge to me."

Cell shakes his head like he doesn't get. Freeza once again sees the growing erection emerge from Cell's groin.

"Are you kidding me, when will this mutt learn to heel?" He thinks to himself. Freeza's attention turns to the now filthy bedding. "Look what you made me do, I can't sleep on this." He kicks the bedding aside in frustration. "Oh, and while you're down there, clean your filth from my legs."

An eager Cell starts licking the cum from Freeza's muscular thighs. Freeza blushes, trying his best to fight back his own growing arousal.

"I Suppose, bottom feeders are good for something."Freeza shoos Cell away from his leg.

"I wasn't done yet," Cell says angrily.

"I had to show you who's boss. Don't ever think that I'm not the one in control around here, got that?"

A now exhausted Freeza struggles to find comfort, laying his head on the exposed flooring purposely facing away from Cell. He shivers from having his sensitive skin brush against the cold wooden floor. Cell scoots over grabbing Freeza and laying him on top of his chest.

"I'm down to play some more if you are? " Cell says as he caresses Freeza's ass. Freeza ignores Cell's request knowing full well he could not try anything funny without his consent. Cell stares at Freeza as he sleeps, patiently waiting for morning when he would rise again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wanted Tundra's name to be pronounced (Toon-dra). Toondra looks weird so I just went with Tundra instead. I forgot Cell designed the Cell games arena, thank you for reminding me in the comments. I'll change it from"what need would I have for architectural skills?" to "what need would I have for home-construction?". There is no canon proof Cell has ever constructed a house...so yea, that's my story and I'm sticking to it :D


	7. This Means War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad guys don't play nice.

The heat of the early morning overtakes the tiny cabin in the woods. Freeza let's out a loud yawn before rubbing the crust from his eyes, he stretches his legs as he tries to recover from his long slumber."Good morning, Cell."

"What's so good about it?" Cell mumbles.

"It's just a pleasant formality, don't take it so literally."

"The only thing that would make it "good" is if we continued what we started last night." Cell starts peppering Freeza's sensitive nape with kisses.

"Continue? Oh, I'm sure I more than finished you off last night, there is nothing more to complete.'' He says smugly. Cell starts feeling on Freeza's body as he continues his assault on his neck, mixing in bites with his kisses.

"You're pushing your luck, bugboy. I understand that you want me to dominate you some more, but lets at least hold off the festivities for later.

"Dominate? Sure, whatever makes you happy, babe."

"I had you shaking in your boots... and don't you dare call me that again!"

"Sure thing, babe,'' Cell says nonchalantly while nuzzling Freeza's cheek.

"Now you're just being disobedient for the hell of it. I will not stand for such Insolence!'' Freeza whips his tail around in anger.

"Oh no! Please don't hurt me,'' Cell says sarcastically holding his hands up in defeat.

"Hold that thought...I've got a better punishment in store for you."

"Bring it," Cell says mockingly.

"OK, If you insist," Freeza walks across the room towards the hidden stowaway compartment. He slides it open greeting the child inside. "Good morning my little Tundra..." He stops to examine Tundra."Somethings...Wrong!"

"Let me guess, it died? Please, for the love of the Gods tell me it's dead?" Cell pleads.

Freeza remains locked in his same position for what felt like an eternity. "Nope, he's... Gotten bigger, and his eyes have opened too! Look Cell!" Freeza spins himself around to face Cell, holding up his pride and joy with a smile. Tundra now looks more humanoid, his eyes finally open.

"The more body fat, the better the taste," Cell jokes.

"Joke all you like, but it looks as though Tundra is really starting to grow on me. He's got beautifully evil eyes just like I do."

"Why are you acting like this? Didn't you say your Hell was full of "cute" things like him harassing you for all of eternity?"

"You'd be correct in your assessment... but, if I were to hazard a guess, I suppose it's different when it's your own."

"Offspring are for eating and fighting, nothing more. So If your goal was to make me want to vomit profusely, then I concede. So if your point's proven, let's get back to our business."

"Our "business" will be at the pond with Tundra. I think its good that we spent more quality time together, wouldn't you agree?" Freeza smiles in a way that makes it hard for Cell to decline. Cell mumbles obscenities under his breath as he processes Freeza's itinerary for the upcoming day.

They start making their way to the pond. "Why are you taking us back here, again? I emptied it of all it's lower lifeforms, remember?"

"That's why it's a perfect spot to take Tundra swimming."

"Swimming? Only a low brow, semi-aquatic species would find such a banal activity recreational," Cell rebukes.

"It's an adequate exercise for someone of his age."

Freeza walks over to the edge of the pond, inspecting it first before dipping his toe in. He wades for awhile before slowly guiding Tundra to the water."Alright, in you go." He dips Tundra into the water and lets him go off on his own.

Cell watches near the water's edge with intense interest. "Drown! Drown! Drown!'" He repeats to himself as he watches the baby struggle to gain its buoyancy. To his chagrin, Tundra immediately takes to the water. He grits his teeth in anger, as he watches Freeza and his child happily splash about In the water. The way Freeza swims with his powerful tail reminding him of the many marine reptile species he memorized from his data.

"Why aren't you coming in? Scared of a little water, are we?" Freeza says mockingly as he uses his tail to splash water at Cell.

Cell angrily wipes his face with his forearm. "I'm fine out here, thank you very much," he says while crossing his arms.

"Have it your way,'' Freeza turns his back to Cell, watching as baby Tundra swims towards the center of the pond. Suddenly, with no provocation, Tundra starts crying uncontrollably.

"What's that confounding racket he's making!?" Freeza interrogates in bewilderment.

"It's called crying, its what earth babies do when they want attention."

"Well do something and make it stop, already!" Freeza starts making his way towards Tundra.

Cell places his hand out targeting the now isolated child. He fires a low power energy blast, It narrowly misses the infant striking the water instead causing it to erupt into a geyser. Freeza shifts his focus back to Cell whose hands are now strategically placed behind his back.  
The crying almost instantly stops. Tundra is now laughing, splashing his little hands in the water with excitement.

"Oh? You like that, Tundra?" Freeza starts mimicking Cell, shooting small ki blast into the water causing more mini geysers to sprout from the pool. Tundra claps his hands together in enjoyment."You'll be destroying planets in no time." Freeza swims over scooping Tundra up into his arms.

"I know your game, Cell... but considering your poorly executed assassination attempt failed, I'll let you off the hook, for now."

Tundra starts reaching out his hands towards Freeza, he brings the child closer to his face and nuzzles him with his nose. Cell gets enraged by the overt display of affection playing out in front of him, his face contorting in disgust.

"Can we go now!?" Cell says impatiently.

Freeza rises from the pond, making his way up to Cell. He holds Tundra out towards Cell. "I want you to hold him."

"Oh? So all of a sudden you trust me now? " Cell replies.

"I'm doing no such thing," Freeza interjects.

"Argh..whatever you're just making my task a lot easier," He replies irritably. Freeza passes the child off to an unenthusiastic Cell, "So...am I supposed to feel something besides intense hunger right now?"

"You're supposed to feel overwhelmed with joy and love!" Freeza says while clutching his own chest.

"The more I see you embracing this little dirtbag, the less attractive you become."

"I do love nothing more than to get under your skin, It's one of my favorite pastimes," he jeers.

"You're in no position to mock me, I still have your child, remember? I could gobble him up right now and you wouldn't have the chance to react."

"Yes, I see... Go on then, play out this scenario how you so intended."Cell stares at the baby with its tiny hands reaching up to him, and back to Freeza's impatient face, his tail whipping wildly behind his body in anticipation. "What's the matter, Cell? Getting cold feet are we?"

 

 Cell, not wanting to incur Freeza's wrath, cannot bring himself to eat Tundra. "Arg... You're bluffing, aren't you?"

"Well, well...You do catch on rather quickly, for a bug-brained maggot!" He snatches Tundra from Cell's hand without a moments notice. Freeza walks ahead, Cell lets out a strained sigh before following close behind.

Later that night, Freeza puts Tundra to bed like he did the night before."It's been a long day, but thankful I'm beginning to see vast improvements in Tundra abilities. He's a great swimmer, his appetite has increased..."

"I would know... I had to find food for the little ingrate."

"Quit lamenting the minutiae of the day and be grateful we have this time to ourselves," Freeza says as he makes his way back across the cabin.

Cell raises his brow in curiosity."Hm, you had me worried, I thought that child completely drained you of your vigor."

"I know you have an itch that needs scratching, I'm more than willing to oblige," Freeza says seductively. Cell goes in for a sneak attack on Freeza just as he completes his sentence. "Why must you insist on being so rough?"

"Pretend you don't like it all you want, but your body doesn't lie," Cell says as he continues his kissing.

"Must I teach you a lesson in discipline again?" Freeza rebukes.

"Yes, please," Cell murmurs. Freeza reciprocates with his own kiss, gliding his alien tongue into his mouth. Freeza can see Cell's erection growing with each embrace, a sense of slight dread engulfs him. "Just make it quick, I'm awfully tired." Freeza scoffs.

"No can do, not after what you put me through today, I'm going to enjoy every moment of this," He whispers into his ear.

"I think you're forgetting who has the true bargaining power here."Freeza retorts as he climbs atop Cell ready to straddle him."Now be a good boy and I won't have to make this painful for you." They begin to fuck with Freeza on top navigating the pace, Savoring every sensation that his worn out body can handle.

"To think that we could have been doing this earlier, yet you decided taking care of a brat was more important."In response, Freeza squeezes around Cell as a warning, causing him to recoil from the discomfort.

Heavy breathing reverberates throughout the room as they fuck vigorously. Cell switches it up so that Freeza's rear end is facing him. He grabs Freeza by the base of his tail thrusting in as hard as he can causing Freeza to shriek. "Defiling me from behind?! Have you no shame?!"

"I'm treating you like the dirty whore that you are!" He says while mercilessly hammering his dick into Freeza's hole.

"Ahhh...Ahh! I swear, I'll make you suffer!" Freeza says under his overbearing moans.

Suddenly, a muffled cry is heard from the cabinet. "Tundra is draining his eyes again!'' Freeza remarks with concern.

"Who cares? Hopefully, he'll drown in his own tears," Cell says while continuing to plow into Freeza's ass without care.

"I've had enough of you for one night!" Freeza uses his muscle control to finish Cell off quickly, he hastily cleans himself off with some old bedding material before rushing over to aid his upset child. "What's wrong, my little tyrant!?"

Freeza starts cradling Tundra in his arms in vain."He's still expelling fluid from his eyes, this earth behavior is incredibly annoying and inefficient!"

"If It's so annoying to you, how about just give up on this one? We can always create another one that doesn't cry."

"I tire of your games, either stop Tundra from crying or I'll make you cry inst..." Freeza barely manages to avoid ki blast to the head.

"DID YOU JUST ATTEMPT TO BEHEAD ME!!?.. And you shot a hole in the wall! Explain yourself! "Freeza's tail rose in anger, ready to strike him down at any moment.

"Well It worked earlier.I don't see you coming up with any solutions, genius." Cell retorts.

"Y-YOU...Are really testing my patience right now, Insect!"

Cell starts closing the gap between him and Freeza. "I'm watching you," Freeza leers. Cell reaches down, grabbing the child from him, while Freeza looks on in suspicion. At that moment the tantrum ceases as Cell holds Tundra in his arms.

"Oh? It seems that little Tundra just wanted to be held by his bug daddy, how precious." He playfully taunts.

Cell rolls his eyes before calming his expression. "Ok, let's hand him back to you and see what happens." Cell exchanges Tundra with Freeza to gauge his reaction, like clockwork the waterworks erupted again, this time even louder. Freeza immediately hands him back over to Cell, once again the crying halts.

"It seems as though Tundra enjoys toying with you as well," Freeza says with delight.

"I feel like this little bastard is trolling me right now." He shifts his eyes over to Freeza "You do know, I'm not going to have sex with you while holding this thing."

"Get your mind off that, you lecherous bedbug. We're done for the night, besides, Tundra is in dire need of our attention far more than your genitalia." Freeza lays a fresh pile of bedding down before patting down a spot next to him, inviting Cell to sit.

"Are you telling me that this little bastard is sleeping with us tonight?!"

"Why yes, is that a problem for you? "Freeza says while piercing his soul with his sharp red eyes.

"I'm not going to hold him all night if that's what you're thinking."

"He'll sleep between us both," Freeza says while laying himself on his side facing towards Cell. "Good night, Cell." Freeza rests his hand on a now sleeping Tundra, meanwhile Cell remains on high alert, his eyes shifting from Freeza to the now vulnerable child laying in front of him. He knows that he can easily dispose of the child right then and there, but looking at Freeza's sleeping face makes him reevaluate his plan. Instead, he puts his arm around Tundra. so that his hands rest on top of Freeza's. He decides to ride out his frustrations for as long as he can possibly manage.

 

Two weeks have passed, and a now toddler sized Tundra walks hand in hand between his two parents. Freeza flashes Cell a smile and Cell manufactures one of his own in return. They take a seat at their favorite spot near the pond.

"It's a shame you vacated this pool of all its lifeforms, it would have been a nice place to teach Tundra how to hunt."

"There are other bodies of water you know?" Cell rest his hand on his chin out of boredom.

"I'm not liking your cantankerous attitude! Explain yourself!?"

"It's been approximately fourteen days and twelve hours since we last fucked."

"Oh? So am I suppose to feel sorry for you? You're mistaken if you thought this union was formed on mutual reciprocity." Freeza replies.

"Well, I'm trying to figure out why I bother being around you since you refuse to give me what I want."

"Hey, Cell?..." Freeza patiently awaits a response. Cell looks over at Freeza and is smacked across the face by his robust tail.

"Watch your tongue, you filthy, insect! I've had enough of that lip of yours, peasant! Do you forget you're talking to the mighty lord Freeza of the great Freeza empire!!!"

Cell, overwhelmed by the constant nagging and abuse from Freeza, punches him square in the jaw sending him careening into a nearby tree. Tundra starts crying uncontrollably as Cell's shadow looms over him. "Say your prayers, child." He places his hand out ready to fire off a ki blast before Freeza interrupts with his own, knocking Cell back.

"Get out of here now Tundra!" Freeza yells. Tundra runs away from the battle, seeking shelter behind a tree. Freeza pants as he lifts his frail bruised body off the ground, finger still pointed towards Cell. "You know, I was growing tired of playing house with you. I suppose It's time for me to dispose of you once and for all!" He fires off rounds of ki blast, this time Cell is not nearly as nimble, narrowly missing most. His hardened skin searing from the endless barrage of blast. Cell recklessly charges in at Freeza. Freeza gracefully dodges his rush attack, grabbing him by the neck and choking him before tossing him into a row of trees. Tundra cowers behind the tree as he witnesses his dads brutally pummel each other.

"I'm through playing fair with you! Time to do what I should have done from the beginning!" Golden streaks of energy start encircling Freeza as his muscles expand and his skin begins to emit a gold aura. Cell recovers himself from the ground, momentarily enamored by Freeza's physical change. Cell begins to regain his momentum charging full speed ahead towards Freeza."It's time I taught you a lesson in humility!"Freeza yells. Cell's fist comes close to impacting Freeza's face before Freeza delivers a swift knee to his abdomen, causing Cell to collapse to the ground.

"Slow and impulsive, just as my experiences with you have shown." He pulls Cell in closer while rubbing his knee into his stomach before letting Cell's limp body hit the floor. Freeza places his three-toed foot on to the back of Cell's head, rubbing his face into the dirt.

"I should have never let you even think you had the upper hand on me, I'm far more powerful than your minuscule brain could possibly fathom." He lifts him up by the neck with his tail, giving him a few clean body blows, causing Cell to cough up blood.

"B-bastard..." Cell murmurs under his labored breath.

"Time for me to cleanse myself of this vile infestation. NOW DIE!!!"

Freeza fires off a large beam at close range causing Cell to fly back with the rest of the flattened, burning forest. Freeza flies upwards to get a clearer vantage point as he desperately tries to spot Cell's body beyond the rows of scorched trees."I know you're out there, Cell. You can't hide from me for long." He flies over the miles of scorched earth to locate Cell.

"It's possible I could have disintegrated his body," Freeza smirking at the thought. When he reaches the end of the trail of ash he finds a vacant smoldering crater with no sign of Cell. "OHOHOHOHO! Marvelous indeed! You're on the run, aren't you!? Too scared to face me now that you've seen my true power!? Well then, If its war you want, it's war you shall get!" He looks back satisfied with his handiwork before flying back to his child.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No lie, I feel kinda down after writing this chapter. I know what happens next, but it's still a massive bummer as I reread it.


	8. Don't Talk To Strangers

It was an uneventful day for Freeza as he brews a cup of tea for himself. He learned how to make it from scratch by using wild tea leaves and manipulating his ki just enough for an even boil. He brings the cup to his mouth, placing it down on his newly constructed table after a sip. He takes a quick peek outside of his tiny window, looking beyond the vast expanse of his territory. The area once covered in vegetation now only sparsely populated with foliage. It's been 9 months since the violent clash between him and Cell happened. Ever since then, the bug has been completely absent from his life. Freeza takes another drink before letting out a long-winded sigh. He looks over his shoulder, calling out to his child. "Tundra!" he yells.

A now more mature Tundra marches over to Freeza. Pale spotted skin, with black wings, a long serpentine tail, a round dome-like head, flanked by a subdued form of Cell's crest. "Yes, dad?"

"Your assistance is needed for a task. Go to the farthest edge of our territory and start removing more trees, It shouldn't be too difficult for you. I created a perfectly horizontal line of trees separating us from the forbidden side of the forest"

"What's wrong with the other side?" Tundra asks.

"Ah, a good question. Freeza picks up a slab of rock he had kept for just this occasion. He holds it up to Tundra, it depicts a crudely drawn finger painting of Cell. Freeza points to the slab as he explains himself. "This is a monkey blood. You do not approach, converse, or feed the monkey blood."

"Whats so bad about the monkey blood?" Tundra inquires.

"The monkey blood is an awful, vile Creature that eats small children like yourself. So heed my warning and avoid it at all cost."

"Wow, it's wings, spots, and facial patterns look similar to mine."

"Don't compare yourself to that disgusting, insect! You are mine, and mine alone. Got that!?"

"R-Right...got it!" Tundra says with trepidation.

"Whatever commonality you may have with that beast is merely coincidental," Freeza exclaims while putting the slab back in its place.

"OK... but if you don't mind me asking... where are your wings, dad?"

"I...I was... " Freeza stammers while trying to come up with an explanation. "Bitten! Yes, savagely bitten by the monkey blood before giving birth to you, causing a mutation in your genetic code. Now stop asking tertiary questions."

"I never knew such a monster even existed, where does it live?" Tundra asked with a now excited curiosity.

"Beyond our territory, in that unkempt forest. I'm only warning you now because you'll be close to that area. If you were to get hurt or even die, it would have been due to your own stupidity rather than ignorance."

"OK, dad, I'll be sure to keep an eye out. I'll see you later."

"All right, just be back before sundown." He says while waving. Tundra flies off to complete the chores for the day.

"*sigh* She's an obedient child... It almost makes me wish we had more time."

Tundra makes her way to the end of her father's territory and starts immediately blasting down trees, cutting a perfect horizon line across the perimeter. Tundra wipes sweat from her brow, "This is tough work without help from dad." She looks off to her left at the deep forest in front of her. "I wonder how anyone could live in there? It looks very cramped and all the trees would make flying difficult. Dad did say to avoid that patch of woods and I really should get back to work." She is caught off guard by a swift movement from behind a tree.

"What was that? Could it be a...monkey blood?" She sees a head peek out from the brush, the creature was an exact replica of her father's drawing. Tundra leaps back taking on a defensive stance,"Go away or I swear, I'll blast you into dust!"

The small blue creature starts to laugh as four more heads begin to emerge from the surrounding trees. They leap out past Freeza's artificial boundary and begin circling around Tundra.

"Back off! I swear, I'll do it!" She says as she points her finger towards them.

The small creatures start to cackle and jeer at Tundra. One of the creatures grabs Tundra's wing, lifting it up and examine it. "Food?" another says while examining her tail.

"Don't touch me, you monkey blood!

The little creatures look around at each other in confusion "Monkey... blood?" "He say Monkey blood?"

"Yeah, that's what my dad said you are," She interjects.

"Dad? You want, dad?" One of them says while stepping closer.

"No, I have a dad. Go away!" Tundra shoos at them with her hand."

The little monsters start their loud cackling again. Tundra fires off a ki blast at one, it dodges and leaps at her, she's spun around with her back now facing the forest. She's then caught off guard as a hand grabs her long reptilian tail.

"What? Let go of me!" She is suddenly pulled by her tail at high velocity into the forbidden forest. She manages to grab onto a tree, as the small bug-like creature attempts to pull her in deeper. She holds on for dear life until another creature bites her hand causing her to lose her grip.

"HELP! DAD!!!" She is tossed aside into a clearing. The creatures once again congregate around her." Ouch, that hurt you insignificant speck!" She says rubbing her head.

One of the creatures grabs her by the arm and gestures to a small cave. She looks over towards the cave as she regains her footing,"So this must be the monkey blood's lair."

"You see dad?" The small creature says while still pointing towards the cave.

"You mean your dad is in there? I don't want to see him, just leave me alone." The hand keeps pulling, nearly dragging her to the floor.

"I've had enough of your... In...cog...nisance!? I think that's how you say it? Argh, just die please!" The bug-like being continues to pull her closer to the cave.

"Take this!" she fires a beam at the monster with her spare hand knocking him forward. She walks up to it, kicking it on its side. Don't you ever lay your dirty paws on me, monkey blood scum!"

The 4 other creatures gather around in a circle as more little blue creatures start emerging from the cave in a gathering. The little creature on the floor points at Tundra. "He mean!" The others look on in bewilderment as he picks himself from the ground. "He look like food?" They start chanting as they look amongst each other.

"I'm food? Wait a sec, dad did say the monkey blood eats small kids like me!"

The little creature rushes to Tundra with a full on punch, knocking her to the ground. I have to get dad! "She says as she crawls to get away. One grabs her by the tail smacking her against the floor, While the others watch on in laughter. The little creature starts dragging her towards the cave, her tail draped over its shoulder like a duffle bag.

"I have to think of something quick!" She shoots a well-aimed finger beam at the creatures hand, causing it to release it's grip and slightly burning her own tail on impact. She ignores the pain, taking off above the trees. The cackling little insects take off in pursuit. Tundra is bombarded by Ki blast as she makes her way back to familiar terrain. She starts to see the treeline gradually make way to flat plains. As she crosses the demarcation line, her pursuers halt their chase.

"No cross?" They all chant as they rally to come to a consensus. They decide to flee, giving Tundra a huge sigh of relief.

"I have to tell dad that there is more than one monkey blood." Tundra slams open the front door of the cabin, hand still pressed against it as she tries her hardest to take in air.

"Tundra! What happened to you!?"

"I-I was attacked!" 

"Freeza demeanor shifts from concerning to intimidating. "By whom? It's only you and I out here. I purposely put all that effort into clearing the land so that you would be safe. Could it be that you approached a creature I specifically told you to avoid at all cost." His tail full of energy as he speaks.

"No.... you see... I was working on our side of the territory when a group of monkey blood's attacked me and tried to take me back to their cave! Luckily, I was able to fight them off and escape."

Freeza places his finger right between Tundra's eyes," You'd better be completely honest with me right now or I'll blast you right here!"

"It's true... I-I promise. I'll take you there if you need me to," she pleads

Freeza rests his hand on his chin in thought. "A group of tiny bug boys, possibly Tundra's sibling... and a cave? Not a very original hiding place, he should count his blessings that I gave up on pursuing him." He looks over to his daughter whose head was lowered in defeat.

"You stay here, I don't need you getting in the way."

"Yes, sir," Tundra says with her head still bowing.

Freeza flies off to Cell's cave,"It's been over 9 months since I last saw that capricious nuisance.To think that I pummeled him mercilessly and possibly evaporated his body, yet and still, he hides out in the open? He broke a treaty, that is beyond forgivable, surely he must pay."

Freeza lands near the cave entrance, he can see a multitude of tiny eyes peering back at him. "Clones? Initially, I didn't expect as such considering his penchants for eating children. He did mention he could produce clones from his tail, I can surmise this is some puerile attempted at home security."

One brave insect moves closer to Freeza, instantly he snatched into the air by Freeza's telekinesis. Freeza slowly brings the creature closer, it struggles as it tries to free itself from his grasp, his comrades watch on in horror by the cave.

"Hohohoh, you're a spitting image of bug boy, shall we see what color your blood is?" The little insect screams for help as he comes to eye level with Freeza. Freeza takes his free hand and carves down its body with a beam of energy. The creature screams in agony as green fluid leaks down its body, Freeza licks some off his fingers.

"That's all I needed to know, now die!" He does a swift crushing motion with his hand causing the bug to explode into a pile of dust. "HOHOHOHO!!! Like father like son," he remarks while wiping the dust from his body. "Now where were we," Freeza says while staring at the others near the cave. They quickly retreat inside as Freeza slowly jaunts his way in.

He looks around at the terrified eyes watching his every move, while others unaware of the threat he poses go on with their regular activity. He makes an expression of utter disgust as he examines the filthy cave further. "Such disgusting creatures." He looks around at the hundreds of uncivilized insects as they fight amongst each other.

"Those two are eating each other, and that one over there is missing a leg. There is not one iota of discipline to be found amongst this rabble." One of the insects latches on to Freeza knawing at his leg. He places his hand on the insect's head, blowing it up into a puff of smoke. He nears the back of the cave only to see a face he hasn't seen in months.

"My, my, isn't this a pleasant moment of Deja vu," It's Cell once again wrapped in a cocoon. "Wakey, wakey, bug boy, I must have a small word with you." Freeza lifts his tail up and gives Cell's face a clean smack, the loud sound could be heard reverberating throughout the cave, setting off its occupants. A group recklessly leap towards Freeza, he puts out one hand behind himself firing off a huge ki beam, instantly evaporating his would-be assailants, the remaining ones cowering in fear behind stalagmites.

Cell begins to stir from his slumber, "Um, how could I forget a slap like that." 

"Lousy security you got here, did you really think that was enough to stop me? Hohoho, how foolish of you, you're now wide open for my attack."

"Is that what you thought this was about, for my protection?" He mocks, fighting to contain his laughter.

"Why is this cave so filthy and infested with your grotesque clones? You say you hate children, yet you choose to surround yourself with these vermin?"

"Oh, them... I didn't produce them because I wanted to. While I can control at will if I want to create a clone, say during a fight. Every 17 days or so a few will just pop out without my control. I'm not really interested in reabsorbing them all so I just let them do whatever they please, as long as they don't wake me." He explains.

"Well then, make sure you put those involuntary bowel movements of yours on a leash. You broke our treaty and crossed over into my territory. You should be lucky I don't blast you to bits right now."

"Treatise...Territories? Is there something I'm missing here?" Cell says in confusion.

"Your little rascals crossed enemy lines and brutally attacked my daughter. They should know better by now, I've been pest controlling the area of them since I killed you. I thought they were from our previous brood, but it turns out they were yours all along."

"Daughter? I thought you had a son?'' Cell says inquisitively. 

"I really don't have to tell you anything about my child. If you cared so much, maybe you wouldn't have abandoned us."

"Look, I've been hibernating for nearly 9 months now, so maybe my memories a bit foggy, but I don't recall it going down that way...whatever, water under the bridge."

Freeza is taken aback by Cell's nonchalant attitude. "B-But I disintegrated your body!" He says while pointing his shaky finger at him.

"Nope"

"Caused you to go into hiding from the shame of defeat?"

"Double no."

"Well then, explain to me why you disappeared all this time?"

"When you threw that energy at me, my body was partially destroyed by the impact, in fact, I exploded. It's a good thing I have superb durability, I was able to reform without actually dying. It's not like it's the first time that's happened to me."

"No way! Why is he acting so calm, he should be groveling at my feet right now, begging for mercy!" He thought as he desperately tries to formulate a rebuttal. "Must I teach you another lesson, maggot!?"

"Oh? So you want to fight? Ok then, let's go." Cell says while still inside his cocoon.

Freeza just stares at Cell for what felt like hours before finally deciding to give up. "I don't want to hurt you too bad, so I'll let you off the hook this time. If you break our treaty again, I'll be back to settle the score."

"Alrighty then," Cell says with a cocky smirk.

"Argh... You better take my threats more seriously, because when the time comes, I will not go easy on you!"

"I'll be eagerly awaiting your return."

Freeza flies off even angrier at Cell then before. When he gets home, he is restless, infuriated by Cells cocky attitude towards his threats of physical harm. "The nerve of that filthy dung beetle. I reduced his exoskeleton to broken shards of glass, yet he still treats me like a nonthreat? That's it! I'm going to blow up that filthy cave, along with Cell. I'll show them no mercy from my unrelenting fury!"

"I'll be back later, Tundra," He looks over to see that she was asleep on her bed. "I don't want her to know the truth about her creation, which is why I must waste no time stomping that bug into oblivion."

Freeza flies out his house extra confident in his revenge plot. The sky is now a pinkish hue as the sun starts fading. He barely gets far before noticing a familiar figure in the distance.

"YOU!" Freeza screams, his body temporarily paralyzed.

He flies closer to get a better look, seeing Cell's cocky smirk sets him off. "You broke our treaty again! I'm not giving you a second chance this time!"

Cell takes his finger and places it over Freeza's mouth, stopping him from making another sound. Freeza face erupts in red from a combination of anger and embarrassment.

"I just wanted to say that... I'm... Sorry for what happened to Tundra. Please accept this as a token of my apology." Cell pulls the charred body of a Cell jr from behind his back.

"You killed your own son, for me? Why should I care, you kill children all the time?" Freeza scoffs as he turns his nose up at Cell's offering.

"No, trust me this one is different. You see, I was able to single out the troublemaker who started harassing your daughter," Cell explains.

"Oh? Did you really care about this one in particular, beyond its capacity as an hors-d'oeuvre?"

"Y-yes, I cared about him dearly," Cell retorts.

"Ok then, what was his name?" Freeza says insistently.

"His name was...B-Bob and he was my favorite son. You could only imagine how hard it was for me to extinguish his life."

"So you killed your favorite son, just for me?" Freeza says giving Cell a googly-eyed look.

"Well yeah, that's kinda where I was going with all this," He says as he shrugs his shoulders.

Freeza leaps into his arms giving him a passionate kiss."I don't believe you." 

"I don't care," Cell says. They kiss again before making their way back to the ground.

"I know a spot we can go to," Freeza says as he playfully flirts.

"Lead the way," Cell says while he and Freeza walk hand in hand to their favorite rendezvous spot near the pond."This is where you could say we "broke up"." Cell remarks

"Hohoho, You took that phrase a bit too literally that day," Freeza jokes.

"If you weren't so cute right now, I'd punch you in your mouth again," Cell replies with a smirk.

Freeza uses his powerful tail to wrap around Cell's neck gently bringing him closer. "I'd like to see you try," he says before smooching with Cell again. They take a seat in the grass, as they both lay on their backs gazing up at the stars.

"So... How have things been with you and Tundra? I Haven't seen him...I mean, her in a while."

"She's doing well, disobedient at times but nothing I can't manage."

"I'm curious as to why the change all of a sudden? I went to sleep for nine months, and all of a sudden our son has become our daughter?."

"I told you when we first met that my race didn't have two sexes, correct?"

"I remember, and I should know by your internal physiology, you're like a swiss army knife down there," He jokes.

"Genital isn't the issue when it comes to my race as far as gender is concerned. We are all the same on the biological level as far is reproduction is involved."

"Oh? So you do have something akin to a woman in your race? Interesting."

"Yes, the neutral is male considering less than 5% of my race is female. Newborns are default gendered male until expressly stated otherwise."

"So, is there a specific reason why you personally go by "he"? Your mannerism at times is similar to an earth woman's, but at other times not so much."

"It was a political move really, nothing more. My people are not as accepting of female leadership, the small percentage of females are expected to stay on homeworld and rear young for our noble class. My father, King Cold would have my egg strategically placed on the throne only for important events, I was for the most part incubated by females. So If I were to say that I was a female it would be political suicide. Imagine incubating an egg for over 50 years only to find out it wasn't by societies standards equipt for socially dominant roles." Freeza explains as he looks over at Cell.

Cell scratches his head in confusion."I can't really add any personal advice to this discussion, I'm just fascinated by the political mumbo jumbo you mono-races put yourselves through."

"Yes, its a lot more complicated than can be fully explained. From roles in society, intimacy, the form you use most often, even incubation temperature is said to contribute to the differences. My father purposely used his repressed form 2 over his 1st just because it made him look physically domineering to other nations despite it being vastly weaker than his true form. Me not going to a more intimidating looking form was a massive risk in fact."

"So...would you prefer to be referred to as she? I'm just asking out of mere curiosity." 

"I'm quite happy with the person I've become and the legacy I left on this universe, I just want my daughter to have the chance to live her life the way I didn't." He turns his face back towards the starry sky.

"Since you have females, I'm assuming you have a mother as well?"

"Incorrect, I was born from my father alone. My species can reproduce both sexually and asexually, each with there own pitfalls. My father opted for the latter to preserve our mutant lineage, as did I...."

"Oh? So you did have a child before? Interesting."

"Yes, a son I named Kuriza. The one thing I regret was not being able to spend time with my son, I was too busy with my duties to see him. In fact, it was the other females of my species who hatched and raised him while I was away. Having little Tundra around has filled that void for me," he laments.

"While I can't really relate to your vile, mushy emotions, I suppose It's understandable why mono-races would need to possess a modicum of compassion, for their own progeny at least." Cell says as he rests his eyes.

"So how about you? Have any offspring before meeting me?'

"Seven, Gohan killed them all," he says, his eyes still firmly shut.

"I guess we have more in common than I initially thought, besides the hating Goku part."

Freeza slides his body closer to Cell as darkness eclipse the sky, Cell can feel Freeza's body shaking against his skin. "We can go back to your place if its too cold," Cell whispers.

"I expect for you to do your job and keep me warm tonight," Freeza responds. Cell plants a kiss on Freeza's head as they both cuddle together by the moonlit water.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ice-jin/Arcosian headcanon heavy chapter. The Cell cave scene is heavily based on the Cell-X plotline from DB online. Cell-X escapes to a cave and just starts popping out babies. Perhaps a bored regular Cell would do something similar.


	9. Let's Make It Work

Freeza awakes to the sizzling sun beating down on his ivory skin, the fresh morning dew tracing every curve of his body. He extends his arm expecting to feel the warmth of another body next to him, it's absent causing a slight alarm.

"Cell! Don't tell me he has run off yet again, he at least uses to wait until after sex to do his disappearing act." He gets an earful from familiar voices not too far from his vicinity. He looks towards the direction of the sound only to witness Cell carrying Tundra on his shoulder as they laugh.

"What is the meaning of this, Tundra? What are you doing out here!?" Freeza exclaims.

"I can explain.Tundra here got worried, so she went out searching for you. When she got to the pond and found us laying together she though I attacked you, I got up and tried to explain the situation. She shot me in the eye, I threw her into a tree, but eventually, we got on the same page. Also, what's with the monkey blood thing? She kept screaming it at me the entire time?"

"Cell, put my child down this instant," Freeza commands as he approaches the two with both arms firmly locked behind his back and tail twitching like mad.

"Dad, its ok...I knew all along." Tundra says while looking down at her feet.

"Don't speak unless asked... and you, Cell. Are you going to tell me that she doesn't look like a delicious entrée to you?"

Cell nervously scratches his head before responding."Strangely enough for me, not anymore. Maybe it's because she's a lot bigger now? Eh, who knows." 

"Wait, what?!" Tundra jumps from Cell's shoulder and hides behind Freeza for safety.

Freeza places his hand near his mouth and laughs."Hohohoho, I wasn't joking when I said he eats children, my dear. Trust me, we had many close calls when you were a baby."

"Don't worry, you're not very tantalizing anymore, In fact, the more I look at you the more I see your mother..." Freeza quickly nudges Cell in the side with his elbow. "I mean, your father."

Tundra looks at them both in utter confusion before starting her interrogation."So turns out the monkey blood was my father after all, why couldn't you have just told me before?"

"You've become audacious with your speech, It seems that Cell has influenced you poorly. I would suggest quitting while you're at it," Freeza injects as he points his glowing finger towards Tundra.

Tundra looks over to Cell as if looking for back up to defend against Freeza's verbal onslaught. "Don't look at me, I'm not trying to get on his bad side yet," Cell replies with a shrug.

"For once I'd suggest you heed the advice from your bug dad, and shut it!" Freeza walks his way over to Cell, grabbing him by the elbow.

"Where are you going, dad?" Tundra says as she watches them slowly walk away.

"Where I go is none of your business, you're quite old enough to entertain yourself. I'm sure there are a plethora of chores still needing tending to."

"Right! Yes, sir!" Tundra bows in submission as her parents walk off without her. She flies in the opposite direction to proceed with her daily duties.

Freeza and Cell continue their stroll back to Freeza's cabin."You've been less lecherous since the last time we were together. Have I finally domesticated the horndog?" Freeza remarks jokingly.

"No, I'm just biding my time for the perfect moment to strike, you'll never see it coming." As they approach the door Cell lifts Freeza into his arms giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Argh, I can walk on my own, thank you," Freeza says gritting his teeth.

"You did say you're a girl, right? You're supposed to like this romantic garbage." Cell says as he nuzzles at Freeza's face.

"I'm not "supposed" to like anything," he rebukes, crossing his arms in indignation.

"You'll learn to love it, princess," Cell says mockingly as he plants another kiss on Freeza. Cell makes his way into the cabin, he carefully examines the new layout of the home. "Wow, you really have spruced up the place while I was gone."

"I wouldn't call it "sprucing" I call it not living in one's own filth." Freeza reproves, directing Cell to his bed on the right side corner of the cabin.

"Hm, a bed? It's almost like you've been preparing for my arrival," Cell says with a smirk.

"Beds are meant for more than copulatory endeavors, you big oaf." Freeza places himself neatly on the edge of the bed ready to commence his chatter before having his legs forcefully spread open by Cell's hands.

"I knew you were no gentleman," Freeza says in response to his impatience.

"You're just figuring that out now after the number of times I tainted your body? Have you not learned anything since then?" Cell uses his tongue to lick from Freeza's groin up to his belly eliciting a moan from his receiver. "I can tell how long you've yearned for my touch. Your body aches from my absence," he murmurs.

Freeza grabs Cell by his head, pulling him in closer for a kiss. "So, I was thinking... that if given the chance to enact my revenge on Goku again..." He reaches down to grab Cell by the hand. "That, I'd want you by my side... Not as anything sentimental, I just feel as though you possess certain traits that could be of substantial use to me."

"Are you saying you want to marry me? I don't follow arbitrary rules. I fuck whenever, and whoever I please!" 

"That's not what I was implying, bonehead! I was talking about you being in a position as a commanding officer in my universal army. Your reproductive abilities would definitely come in handy with re-establishing my universal dominates."

"Oh, so you want to keep me around as a plaything? I'm not into the universal dominance crap, as long as I get to fuck you, I could really care less what you'd call our arrangement."

"I thought as much, and lucky enough for you it would require copious amounts of courtship," Freeza replies.

"Sounds like a plan, we'll be an unstoppable force in the bedroom and elsewhere." Cell uses his now freed penis and presses it into Freeza's hole without much resistance. "You're not fighting against my advances? That nine months must have starved you, you're just begging for your hole to be filled up."

"Ahh...I was getting to that. So I decided I will allow you to excrete inside me this time, just to test out my plan and see if it would actually be viable to form an army with our offspring."

"I get the cut of your jib. If you need an army's worth of soldiers, I'll need to fill you up good this time. How does 1000 sound?"

"1000?! In one go!? You'll rip me open!" Freeza winces as he perceives the hypothetical pain.

"I was only joking, I'll do my best to make it as comfortable for you as possible," He grabs Freeza by the hand and kisses it, being extra tender with his embrace. "Anything for my princess, or should I say, my queen."

Freeza's face burns red from all the positive affirmation," Just get on with it, plebian!"

Cell thrust deeper into Freeza as he watches his angry face change euphoric." Wait until your kingdom finds out its queen likes to get fucked raw by its peasantry." Cell continues fucking Freeza relentless as Freeza lays nearly motionless beneath him. Cell starts nibbling at Freeza's neck, trying to stir some movement back into the small alien. Freeza closes his eyes, grabbing onto Cell's shoulder.

"Just get it over with already," He says while quivering as he awaiting Cell's final move.

"Are you afraid of me cumming inside you? How precious...or could it be giving up control that's bothering you?"

Freeza doesn't respond, instead he shifts his head over to the side as though avoiding the question. Freeza can feel as Cell's body starts slightly convulse, His penis swelling and pulsating inside his cloacal cavity. Cell's timid nibbles turn into vicious bites across his collarbone."Ahhhh, don't you dare..." The urge for Freeza to clench down on Cell grew strong, but he fights his hardest not to capitulate to instinct. He notices Cell's struggle to keep his own sanity as he was also simultaneously fighting with his own primal urges, his vestigial tail jostles about as if malfunctioning. He thrust in deeper leaving Freeza's lower half lifted, his back now arched against the bed. Freeza opens his eyes to witness Cell's face almost in a state of sobbing, but he knew not to extrapolate as much from mere appearances.

"Is he fighting his own instincts not to hurt me? How preposterous," he thinks to himself. Just then, he feeling Cell's penis morphing its shape into a piercing object inside him. He can feel it scraping against the linning of his uterus which causes him to recoil for a second. The unmistakable jets of fluid start ingulfing Freeza's belly causing it to instantly inflate up like a balloon. "Ahhhhhhh, I feel like I'm going to pop!" Freeza screams as the uncomfortable swelling envelopes his body. Once done, Cell and Freeza's bodies remain locked, an exhausted Cell pants, trying his hardest to keep up his breathing. He collapses onto Freeza's body causing him to wince in pain while leaving behind a plug within his cloaca.

"Ugh, this feels horrendous, and why do you insist on plugging me up?" Freeza says as he examines the new appendage on his body.

"Involuntary response, it can't be helped," Cell mumbles under his labored breath. Freeza lays his head on Cells chest, resting his eye's for a bit.  
 He lets out a long sigh in the now quiet cabin, "I can't believe I'm doing this again, but I suppose it's worth another shot."

 

Tundra continues blasting down trees, before stopping to take a breather. She looks off to her side to see a set of huge eyes staring her down. She jumps back reflexively "What the heck! I don't recall letting you in my presence!" The little blue bug tilts his head in confusion. "Eh, well I guess since our parents are no longer fighting anymore, it's ok if you're on our sides of the territory. Now shoo! You're distracting me from my work," She says as she turns her attention back to her job.

The bug starts tugs at her arm, trying his hardest to divert her attention elsewhere,"Did you forget what I can do to you?" She warns. The little bug without warning takes off towards the forest. "Wait, you get back here!" She gives chase only to halt behind a tree that both she and the insect now share.  
"Look!" the insect says while pointing to a group of bizarre figures in the distance.

"Who are they?" She asks while observing their movements carefully. Tundra sees the gang of strange patchwork creatures, one is attacking a defenseless Cell Jr. A green creature, with Freeza's round head and Cell stature start stomping on the poor little bug. "I thought we told you to stay off our turf!" He yells as he relentlessly assaults the tiny insect on the ground.

The shaking bug extends his hand out towards his fallen comrade until he is stomped into the dust. "Is that a friend of yours?" Tundra ask. It was then that she senses a presence behind her, she and her bug companion are both grabbed from behind the tree.

"Looks like he brought reinforcement," The mystery figure announces.

"Wait a sec... That white one you got there looks different than our normal victims," the tall green one says.

"Let go of me, you disgusting, maggot!" Tundra says as she tries her best to free herself from their clutches.

"Maggot, huh?" The taller hybrid kicks Tundra onto the ground. "You look like one of us, but you certainly don't act it. You little runt!"

Tundra lifts herself back up." You just don't know when to stay down," the green one says as he charges towards Tundra. She lets out a large blast of ki energy, knocking her attacker into a row of trees. "He's a lot stronger than he looks, let's go!'' They all flee as fast as they can, vanishing amongst the forest topography.

"You strong," the blue bug says.

"It's getting dark, I have to go back home. You can't come back with me." She tells the young insect before leaving him by himself.

As she flies back home she ponders what just occurred. "Those guys back there looked kinda like me, could this be another thing dad is hiding from me? Do I have brothers and sisters?" Tundra touches down near the front door of the cabin. She feels something touch her side, she looks over to see the Cell jr from before. "I told you before that you couldn't come back with me!" Too tired to argue, she concedes," Fine, whatever just don't tell me I didn't warn you."

"Dad, I'm home!" She walks in to see Freeza and Cell sitting at a table in the middle of the room.

"Cell and I have information that might be of interest to you," Freeza says as he gestures for her to take a seat. "I want to inform you that I'm now pregnant, so you'll have siblings shortly."

"Really? That's great, dad! How long will it be until they're born?" Tundra asks out of genuine curiosity.

"About a day or so, exciting, isn't it?" Cell informs.

"No way! That's too soon, I don't even have time to mentally prepare." Tundra says while clutching her head between her two hands. 

"I don't know who you think you're talking to like that! Now take yourself to bed this instant!" Freeza berates, pointing to her bed as he does.

Tundra sulks to her bed, the little blue bug following close behind, her lizard dad takes notice of the small bug and makes his opinions known. "Tundra, did you bring that maggot into the house?" 

"I told him he couldn't stay, but he wouldn't listen."

"Cell, that's one of your reprobates, take that wretch out back and dispose of him," Freeza says while he pounds his fist on the table.

"Just let it go, too much stress is not good for the babies," Cell gently rubs Freeza's pregnant belly to calm him down.

"I suppose he could be used as a pawn in my army, or possibly as a training dummy. You can stay, for now, just prepare to be used as target practice." Freeza and Cell both walk to their own bed to rest for the night.

Tundra lays in her bed at the left corner of the room with her back facing her parents. The little insect climbs up after her, huddling into a ball next to her feet.


	10. All Is Fair In Love And War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think I turned Freeza into a scarier version of ChiChi.

The next afternoon Freeza once again gives birth in the cabin. He collapses into Cell's arms as they sit on a pile of bedding laid out on the floor. A large green ball now in front of them, slightly larger than the one before."You did good, baby," Cell says as he cuddles Freeza. Freeza jumps from his embrace giving Cell's hand a slap, loosening his hold. He walks over to the blob, this time around he wants to ensure the offspring inside remain safe. Cell walks up behind Freeza, pulling him back by his shoulder and planting kisses on him."I do believe there is more work to be done," Cell purrs.

"Quiet you! Your expertise aren't needed currently. Our task now is to contain these creatures as they emerge. Make sure all the windows are closed properly, this place must be sealed shut to prevent them escaping," Freeza instructs.

"Done and done," Cell replies while shutting a window. His eyes quickly scan over Tundra's empty bed. "Where's that daughter of yours off to so early?"

"Most likely she left for her morning chores. If our offspring are obedient like her, this may very well be a worthwhile endeavor," Freeza remarks.

"OK, so I suppose we wait now? That sounds incredibly boring, If I remember correctly it took like 30 minutes for them to hatch last time."

"Which is why we shall use this convenient window of time to engage in fornication." Freeza climbs onto the bed still achy from the rough sex and birthing.

"Someone's eager." Cell goes back over to Freeza on the bed, he starts to glide his fingers into Freeza's opening causing him to whimper. 

"Foreplay is not a necessity right now," he whispers. Freeza's eyes drift off to the large green ball at the center of the cabin, the movement of the tiny creatures clearly visible from across the room. "I don't feel comfortable with those things staring at me."

"They have brains the size of amebas, they can't possibly grasp what we are doing."

"Just hide them, will you!" Freeza chides as he closes his legs in defiance.

"Fine, whatever gets you to shut up," Cell mocks. He lifts the ball from the floor placing it under the table. "Better now?"

"I can still see their little eyeballs staring at me, you idiot. Find something to cover them up with!"

Cell kicks the table over with his foot, masking the gelatinous orb from Freeza's purview. "Time's a wastin your know," he grumbles joining Freeza back on the bed.

 

After they're done, Freeza lifts his newly swollen body from the bed and ventures over to check on the abandoned blob. He goes to lift the table up only to be ambushed by a flock of tiny hatchlings. "An inpatient lot they are. It would seem they've hatched before we finished."

Cell walks over to the center of the cabin, examining Freeza's body meticulously as he makes his approach."There are approximately 183 offspring in total, looks like I overshot my intended amount by 33." He remarks as he rubs his hand under his chin.

"Ahem, don't you dare even think of making a snack out of any of them!" Freeza berates.

"I wasn't even thinking about food. My question is, where are we going to store all these bloodsuckers anyway?"

"Hm, you're right. There is simply not enough room in here to contain them all. Which reminds me, I need you to extend the house for me."

"That sounds incredibly tedious, why don't you do it yourself?"

"Because I'm the one carrying your wretched offspring, you invertebrate! Now do as I say or no more sex for you!"

"Look, I understand the need for an extra room so that you can feel comfortable. Don't worry, I'll get right on it," Cell says as he walks over to Freeza planting a light kiss on his forehead.

"He's behaving uncharacteristically reasonable, could that fight of ours have humbled him towards me?" Freeza ponders to himself. "Make sure you pick up some food while you're out!" Freeza shouts as Cell walks towards the front door.

"Gotcha!" Cell flies off to his errands and Freeza makes himself comfortable with his little ones still attached to his body. He lays on the bed, drifting off into slumber almost instantly. A few hours later he wakes to the sound of chopping wood outside. "Ah, the sound of backbreaking labor is music to my ears," he exclaims. He rises from off the bed letting out a loud yawn and stretching out his swollen ankles. "Where did those little miscreants run off too?" He looks up to see tiny fly-like creatures crawling over the ceiling. "I must gather them all before... "Hey, dad! I'm back from chores," Tundra announces walking through the door with Cell Jr closely behind.

"C-CLOSE THE DOOR YOU FOOL!!!" He hobbles over his own feet desperately trying to shut the door behind them. "Damn, you let two escape from my grasp!"

"Sorry about that, I'll go get them," Tundra reaches for the doorknob only to be stopped by Freeza's hand.

"You've done quite enough already," Freeza scolds.

"I was only trying to..."

"BED! NOW!!!" Freeza screams as he points to her bed.

"B-But it's too early," Tundra whispers to herself as she walks over to her side of the room.

The door opens again, this time it was Cell. "I'm back," Cell says carrying some food over to Freeza.

"Watch the door!" Freeza screams. Cell ignores Freeza's whining, carefully shutting the door behind him.

"You've been out all day, I presume working hard on the new room?"

"Of course, see for yourself," Cell says while pointing to a door that wasn't there previously.

"Marvelous work, I'd like to see how it looks."

Freeza walks towards the door only to have Cell grab him by the shoulder,"Save it for later."

"But I simply must see it now," Freeza continues his way to the new mysterious door, he opens it up only to see it leads to the outside. "What the hell?! All that time and all you achieved is a bloody door?!"

"Eh, I got bored. I'll get the rest done tomorrow."

"Your slothfulness confounds me," Freeza turns his attention to the lethargic creatures now sluggishly crawling around the room. "Lucky for you they seem to be low on energy tonight."

 

The following day, the house erupts in the sounds of babies crying. "What the hell, they're all expending fluids now!" Freeza says as he cradles six infants in his arms while simultaneously using his tail to carry another ten."Whats taking that insect so long to build that room?" Freeza frantically shuffles around to each corner of the room trying to give attention to the dozens of tiny younglings. "I'm back!" Cell yells closing the door behind him.

"Give me that!" A disheveled Freeza says snatching the food out of his hand. Freeza frantically tries to feed as many children as he can while Cell stands around dumbfounded.

"Why are you just standing around? Assist me!"

"Weren't you the one who said I should work on finishing the house today?" Cell responds.

"It would have been finished already if you weren't so indolent. Don't blame me for your own folly!"

"Between you and the insufferable crying, I'm beginning to lose my patience... and don't think I forgot you still owe me sex. I won't take no for an answer considering you already shat that thing out earlier," he says pointing to the Green orb in the corner. Cell goes in for a kiss only to be met with a smack across the face, Freeza's heavy handprint still visible on his cheek.

"You get absolutely nothing from me until you build that damn room! You good for nothing freeloader!" Freeza turns his back on Cell only to hear an expletive uttered followed by a loud crashing noise. "Damn you!" Freeza looks up to a large hole in his ceiling."I swear to god, I'll crush you bug!" Quickly his attention is diverted to his newly formed egg and the flurry of creatures swiftly emerging. The newly hatched younglings make a beeline for the hole in the ceiling. Freeza panics, he flies up to the ceiling using his own body to temporarily cover up the hole.

"Dad, I'm back!" Tundra swings open the door.

"CLOSE THE DOOR!" In anger Freeza shoots a Ki blast at Tundra, she narrowly dodges in time.

"Dad, what are you doing up there?"

"What are you doing in this house if you aren't going to be useful to me in any way?!" Freeza fires off more beams at Tundra causing more holes in the door for more newborns escape out of. Freeza let's out a loud shrill scream before falling to the floor.

Tundra runs outside to get away from the Mayhem inside the small cabin. "There's no way I can stay here tonight," She looks over to Cell Jr. "You don't have to follow me anymore, I'll find somewhere else to go." The Cell Jr tugs at her arm pointing towards Cell's old territory."Do you mean your cave? I'm not sure if I'll be welcomed by your friends." Cell jr is insistent as they both fly off to the cave.

Its Late noon and a now exhausted Freeza is brewing tea."Some momentary peace after a day of Hell," he says while he looks at the multitude of sleeping babies scattered throughout the cabin. Some laid neatly on piles of bedding, others placed inside empty compartment drawers. He takes a sip bringing it back down to the table with a labored sigh. "This scenario could work out swimming if that cocky cockroach would comply with his duties. Currently, he is sabotaging my objective. Must I inflict more discipline on him?" Freeza's hands squeeze the glass causing it to shatter on his palm, leaking violet blood on the table top.

The front doorknob starts turning, Freeza fixes his eyes to the door as he witnesses Cell enter.

"I don't know why you even bothered using the door considering you've recently installed a skylight." Freeza tightens his grip on the shards of glass further aggravating his wounds. "Where were you all day, you mongrel?!" Freeza snarls.

"I had to get some pent-up frustration out, so I destroyed a large acreage of pristine wilderness setting off a massive forest fire. Hopefully, it makes it's way here and burns this entire house to the ground," he says while staring Freeza in the eye.

"In any other scenario I would revel in such debauchery, but when your rash outburst puts the future of my army in peril. I simply cannot stand for it." Freeza gets up from his chair, turning his back to Cell. ''So, did you finally get to your task, or did you just slack off all day?''

Cell points to the back door, encouraging the angry lizard to investigate,"See for yourself." 

Freeza speed walks to the door, he swings it open to find the usual nothing. "Damn you, I gave you one order and you couldn't even do that!?" Freeza runs further outside, he looks up to see Cell now hovering above the house. He observes him put his hand out towards the house. "You wouldn't dare...I'll kill you! Cell lets out a large Ki blast destroying the home and its occupants in an ear-shattering explosion. Freeza looks on at the burning wreckage with his mouth agape in befuddlement. Cell watches on with his arms crossed and a large smirk on his face. Freeza's retinas now encompassed by the fiery inferno of burning debris that was once his humble abode. Cell's imposing figure is framed by dancing flames, it was the truest vision of Hell Freeza has encountered since being sent there.

"Oops... I was aiming at you and the house got in the way. You did say you wanted the house expanded, you really can't get more expansive than this." Cell unable to hold back his laughter covers his face with his hand as he starts laughing uncontrollably. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! You should see the look on your face right now."

Freeza's face shifts from shock to unbridled anger as he flies up to confront Cell. "You made a complete and utter fool of me! You've reneged on our agreement, and outright lied to me!"

"I'll do whatever it takes to get what I want, after all, we're not too different you and I, the one thing I have over you is my emotions or lack thereof. I really had you thinking that I cared about you, didn't I? Thanks to our shared DNA I can mimic emotional responses to any stimuli, I can even wholeheartedly feel them, but once I grow irritated I can shut them off completely. Was my false verisimilitude so hard to detect that you would foolishly lower your guard around me?" Cell gloats.

"You... psychopath! You're just...awful!" Freeza screams.

"You're one to talk, considering the countless planets you've destroyed. If I were to be honest, I'm actually quite envious of your genocidal track record."

"It's not the same when it's done to puny, insignificant lifeforms...This is ME you're referring to, the mighty Lord Freeza! The fact that you had the unmitigated Gall to defy my will is simply unforgivable!" A golden aura begins covering Freezes body his face etched with rage as Cell looks on in anticipation.

"There's the look I've been waiting for," Cell says with a devilish smirk.

 

An earthshattering thud reverberates throughout universe 7, as an angry Beerus slams his godly fist onto his table. "Damn you, Cell! You ruined Freeza's dream of universal domination. He planned a life with you, and you threw it all away like that?!" Beerus shouts as he sobs into his palms.

"There, there, Beerus-Sama. They're both villainous individuals after all this is to be expected." Whis says as he wraps his arms around Beerus in a feeble attempt to console him.

"It's the principal of it all, Whis. The principal!"

The Supreme Kai enters the room to watch the waterworks spectacle play out in front of him. He looks over at the tv to discover the source of the tantrum. "You're still watching this show? I gave up on it when they broke up the first time."

"You should know how Beerus gets about his entertainment, Shin. Try not to judge him too harshly," Whis says hugging Beerus closer.

"This is why I don't hang out around here often, Beerus aways throws a fit over something completely pointless."

Beerus blows his nose with a tissue. "Whis, call me into the show. I'm going to give that overgrown cricket a piece of my mind!"

"Pardon me, Beerus-Sama, but I do recall you gave your one call to Son Goku earlier."

"Crap, I totally forgot I gave my call to that moronic Saiyan. Consider yourself lucky this time, Cell. Mark my words, if you don't make up with Freeza, I'm taking a trip to Hell and erasing you myself!" Beerus proudly declares before falling back into his seat.

"I Personally feel bad for the youngin, it isn't even aware it was born into a mortal realm simulation," Shin says, his eyes still glued to the screen.

"Indeed, I wonder how long that lovechild of theirs will remain ignorant of its inevitable fate," Beerus's eyes well up with tears as he speaks.

"It'll be ok Beerus-Sama," Whis replies clutching Beerus closer to his chest.

Their attention soon turns back to the screen as Freeza and Cell begin their standoff. "Looks like their going to duke it out, this could get exciting!" Shin says taking a seat next to Beerus on the couch.

"You might not want to get too comfortable, Shin. These two can get a bit ... Frisky... if you know what I mean." Beerus nervously scratches at his face, a slight blush staining his cheeks.

"I have a free hand available to cover your eyes if necessary, Shin!" Whis remarks, playfully waving his hand at him.

"Very funny guys. I was just caught off guard the first time. I'm no prude, I can handle a bit of intimacy once in a while."

"Shut up or leave already!" Beerus rebukes as he slumps back into the plush couch, maneuvering himself into a comfortable position. They all watch on eagerly as the two square up to fight.


	11. All That Glitters Is Not Gold

Ripples of energy begin to swell and scatter in every direction. The surrounding trees start swaying amidst the tidal wave of energy, while others uproot themselves entirety. Cell positions his forearms over his head to shield himself from the overwhelming energy of his angry opponent. The supernova burst finally settles into a calming gold aura as Freeza readjust his head forward to face down Cell.

Cell lowers his guard, he places his hands on his hips and lets out a loud whistle. "Quite the power you're packing there. Seeing you like this is getting me very excited."

"This time I'll make sure I blast you to kingdom come! Not a shred of your existence shall persist in this realm! Try as you might to reform and I'll stomp you into the dust with each feeble attempt!"

"I'd like to see you try, in fact, I encourage as much from you," Cell replies, unshaken by Freeza's threats.

Freeza pauses, carefully examining Cell's laid-back demeanor."Why is he so calm in the face of my threats? Has he learned nothing... or perhaps he's some kind of perverted masochist? Either way, its infuriating to me." Freeza lingers on his thoughts before finally adjusting back to the conflict at hand. He balls his fist and bares his teeth in rage."DON'T TOY WITH ME!!!"

Freeza make's a high-speed lunge at Cell, landing a blow to his face before uppercutting him into the sky. Utilizing his superior speed, he intercepts Cell's trajectory in the air, using both of his golden fists to slam him into the ground with tremendous force.

"Don't you dare try to beg for forgiveness now!" Freeza fires off an enormous Ki blast towards the large crater now blemishing the ground, causing its circumference to expand further. "That was too easy. Now to play the waiting game." Freeza glides down to study the crate up close. "It would seem as though I blew him up again." Without warning, Freeza is sidelined by a rib shattering kick. He is sent smashing into the ground, burying his face under rock and Grey ash. "T-That's impossible, he shouldn't be able to hit me that hard in this form! There has to be a logical explanation for his sudden increase in power," Freeza thinks to himself.

"Hohohoho, so you've trained? What a fruitless endeavor, you're no stronger than you were before." Freeza wipes the dirt from his legs before proceeding. "I have to admit, confronting me in battle is rather bold, like a mindless insect crawling into a Venus fly trap. If only you hadn't betrayed me, that reckless stupidity could have served some use to me on the battlefield. I'm convinced that if you had your head screwed on properly that you would give your life for me."

"Well, it's painfully obvious that you don't know me very well. The fact that you would espouse that I need training to defeat you is beyond comical," Cell says in a derisive tone of voice. Freeza grows impatient, he shifts back into an aggressive battle stance.

"Woah there...hold your horses. I don't think it wise to jump back into combat so soon, you did say you wanted to know how I increased in power so let me explain myself. When you blew me up 9 months ago you inadvertently gave a massive boost in strength, It all has to do with my Saiyan DNA.When I am on the verge of death, I become even stronger than before. Your attempt at killing me failed because you missed the core inside my head, as long as it remains intact I can regenerate indefinitely. So I'd like to personally thank you for this amazing parting gift you bestowed on to me." Cell points to his chest in a mocking manner, "I'll give you a clear shot, Freeza."

Freeza does not budge as he urgently tries to decipher the situation in his head. "He's acting as though he wants me to obliterate him, it could be a bluff...either way, I must not fall prey to his whims." Freeza composes himself letting his outward portrayal of anger fade."There is more to it than that, isn't it? Something tells me you're intentionally withholding vital information. I don't like to be kept waiting, so get on with it before I lose my patience."

Cell bows his head in a respectful manner to Freeza, "Very well, if you insist." Cell starts powering up his energy, the golden aura tracing his body becoming even more brilliant. The spaces around his body shimmer as he's engulfed in a sphere of gold destructive energy. Freeza takes a step back as he sees Cell's emerging silhouette become more visible.

 

"No! It cant be!" Freeza points his trembling finger as Cell slowly marches towards him, he fires off his Ki haphazardly, missing Cell as he closes the gap between the two. Cell grabs him by the wrist, tightening his grip hard enough to make Freeza wince.

"Surprise! How do you like my new form? Sure I could have gone for another color like silver, but I admire you so much I just had to go for the gold." Cell lifts Freeza up by the waist pulling him in closer as Freeza makes a desperate attempt to escape.

"Y-you... Copycat! Come up with something original and stop stealing my perfected form!"

"Hm, that's funny coming from the guy that choose the color of a Super Saiyan."

"Don't you dare compare me to that race of barbaric monkey men!" Freeza screams.

Cell squeezes Freeza's body tighter the more he speaks,"I can do anything I want to you and there is nothing you can do to stop me."

Freeza uses his powerful burst of aura to free himself from his grasp, Cell is knocked back by the tremendous wave of energy barely managing to maintain his footing. The two powerful warriors quickly recover, rushing at each other in a clash of strength. Their hands intertwined, their muscles flexing under the pressure of their combined power. A dome of golden energy encapsulates their bodies and the foundation beneath their feet disintegrates into dust.

"There's that fire I've been looking for," Cell sneers.

"Sorry to disappoint, but it's about time I put an end to you!" Freeza's feet are buried further into the ground from Cell overpowering him in strength. "IMPOSSIBLE!!" Cell pries himself from Freeza's grip, using his fist to gut-punch him into the ground."How could mere Saiyan monkey blood accelerate his power beyond my own!" Freeza coughs up blood, trying to recover from his injuries only to have Cell forcefully land on top of him. Cell proceeds to bombard Freeza's face with his fists, he only relents to ogle at his prone enemy. Freeza forces his own fist up to Cell who was now straddling his chest, Cell blocks the sluggish attack, catching Freeza's fist within his own.

"Give it up, Freeza. My power is far too much for you now. It's a shame, I didn't want to bruise that pretty face of yours. While your true form is a solid 9 this golden number is a 9 1/2...Of course, it's not a perfect 10 like myself, but then again who is?"

Freeza fights back against Cell's overbearing strength. "Get off me you disgusting insect! No way in Hell am I forgiving you...EVER!!!"

Cell relinquishes his grip on Freeza's fist, letting his palm fold on top of the others smaller hand. He brings Freeza's hand up to his lips leave a small lingering peck on it. "I'm so glad you're enjoying this elaborate surprise I had planned for you, by your initial reaction alone I could tell you were impressed by my carnage."

"A surprise?! Is going awol and destroying my entire battalion a means for celebration to you?! If you think your childish pranks are enough to get you back in my good graces, you're hopelessly mistaken."

"Oh please...we both know good and well you didn't enjoy all that baby crap, you were slowly becoming an ornery housewife. A cataclysmic event was what we needed to spice things up. Doesn't it feel great not to have to worry about all of those ungrateful brats anymore?"

"I never thought of it that way... I am slightly relieved to have that most taxing of burdens alleviated but despite my feelings... I still can't get over what you did to me." Freeza shifts his upper body away from Cell, folding his arms in protest.

"You know, this fight really brought back fond memories of when we first met. That look of utter hatred and malice in your eyes, I couldn't help but want to reignite that in you again."

"Is this really a profession of love, or just another sociopathic failsafe? Is he being honest with me, or toying with my feeble emotions again?" Freeza ponders to himself while he queues up a good response."I will say, out of the context in which you defied me... that firey deathtrap was something of beauty that even I can't deny... and the unfathomable suffering of the innocent..." Freeza turns towards Cell, he takes the time to savor his face now etched in shadows created by the now uncontrollably blaze. He leaps into Cell's arms locking his lips firmly to his. He adds his tongue to the embrace, Cell follows suit as they let go of their inhibitions in the mists of the hellscape.

 Cell parts lips with Freeza, he looks him straight in the eye and says,"I loathe you."

Freeza hesitates before responding back,"I loathe you too...and don't misconstrue what I just said! I said loathe, not love!"

"You clearly said "love", you're such a softy," Cell teases.

"You purposely took my words out of context, you ignoramus!"

"You know, I'm glad we're finally getting the chance to do this. For these past 9 months, I've been ever curious about your stamina in that form." Cell rises to his feet still glaring down at the bruised alien. Freeza's eyes widen as he witnesses Cell's erect penis emerging from its sheath. Cell presses it up against Freeza's face and laughs. Freeza snarls before having his mouth forced open by Cell's fingers. He rubs his fingers over Freeza's soft black lips, exploring the corners of his mouth as he does so."Say Ahhhh!'" Cell mocks.

"Don't push it!" Freeza says angrily.

"If I don't push, it won't get into your mouth". Cell thrust his hips, pressing his hardened cock into Freeza's mouth. "Don't worry, I didn't fully extend myself to accommodate that cute little mouth of yours." Freeza ignores Cell's taunting remaining hyper-focused on his task, he rolls his tongue around Cells shaft as he sucks, eliciting a moan from Cell.

"I wonder if Goku's watching us right now? I sure hope that he is," Cell says flippantly. Veins on Freeza's temples fair up at the utterance of that dreaded name."I bet he's in shock by how much of a filthy slut you are. Judging by your impeccable technique, you've probably done this more times then there are stars in the universe. I mean really...how many men were under your command again?  After I'm done with you he won't even want you anymore."

Freeza's face glows red from the thought of his sworn enemy seeing him in such a compromising position. Freeza wriggles his ass in discomfort, vigorously trying to make room for his sprouting erection. Cell takes notice of the activity and wastes no time in voicing his opinion. "Looks like that remark got a rise out of you," He chuckles. He withdrawals his dick from Freeza's drooling mouth and instead shifts his focus to the others. Freeza lays his back on the ash-ridden ground in anticipation. Cell grabs hold of the tiny wriggling appendage forcefully causing Freeza to yelp. "Hm, well that's not very interesting, it's the same color as before." Cell rubs his thumb and index finger up and down the length of the tiny prick. "You're so insignificant that I don't even have to use my entire hand to jack you off. I thought this new transformation would increase the size of your pathetic pecker, I guess we aren't all so lucky."

"Ahhhhhh... I will not give you the satisfaction of making me cum!" Freeza screams under his labored moans.

"Too late, I'm already halfway there," Cell replies as he smears Freeza's sticky precum between his fingers. He stops using his fingers opting for his mouth instead. He gently massages Freeza's dick with his tongue carefully watching the others reactions as he does so. Unable to control his orgasm he frantically shifts from gold to white as Cell sucks him dry. He reaches his limit and cums all over his shimmering belly, Cell eagerly laps up every last drop off Freeza's stomach.

"I wonder what Goku would think of you, licking the filth from my body like a dog," Freeza utters while at the same time fighting to catch his breath.

"I'm sure he'd much rather play with me then you right now... but enough of your monkey boy toy, I'm more curious about that glitchy form of yours. It seems you can't maintain it for very long if even a little orgasm has you losing control. I bet I could fuck you out of that form easily," Cell scoffs.

" Is that a challenge? I can assure you it will be the other way around."

"This might be one challenge you'll regret taking on," Cell taunts.

Freeza waste no time riding Cell's dick," Must I tame you again, scoundrel?!" Cell shakes his head in agreement with the usual cocky smirk plastered across his face. Freeza gets to work using his strong cloaca muscles to smother Cell's hard cock with his tight walls. He watches as Cell's eyes close, his nose wrinkles and small grunt escape his pressed lips as he tightens around him further. "I got you right where I want you!" Without warning the tables are turned on Freeza as a swell of energy enters his body forcing his muscles to expand outwards. "What the hell! I've lost complete muscle control." Cell's golden body is now engulfed in a powerful aura, using just enough of his energy to force him open. He proceeds to fuck Freeza with no resistance stopping his advances. "This can't be happening! I had you bested!"

"Any strategy you come up with I have a thousand more to counter it."

Freeza attempts charging up his aura to no avail as his golden luster starts to wear off. "No...Ahhh... I cant... Let you...Ahhhh... Damn you!" Freeza only handles one more thrust before his golden form completely dissipates. Cell reduces his energy back to normal, giving Freeza the opportune time to finish Cell off before he's impregnated. Cell's golden skin fades back to green after coming down from his own orgasm.

"See, I told you that I could strip you of your copycat form on a whim," Freeza gloats.

"I'm pretty sure It was I that besmirched you first... but whatever makes you happy, babe." Cell embraces Freeza in a hug as the burning woodlands around them barrel in closer.

"You and I... We could destroy this world! It'll be just you and me, the way It should be..the way it should remain." Cell reaches his hand out towards Freeza.

"I do hate surprises..." Freeza whispers under his breath.

"OK...I'm not sure what that has to do with what I'm talking about right now."

"I don't think you understand, insurrection must be dealt with accordingly." Freeza creates a flat disk of ki over his head aiming it at point-blank range, Cell notices and quickly flies up into the canopy of the trees to avoid it.

Freeza stands up, looking in each direction for Cell. "Where did that pesky vermin fly off to now?"

Cell hovers down to make his location apparent to Freeza."You might want to try utilizing your higher faculties, you know... something besides your overworked amygdala."

"You're wide open, fool! I got you no..." The large blade of energy slicing horizontally through his torso., his eyes widen from the all to familiar impact. Cell steps over Freeza's dismembered upper body and laughs. "Horizontal it is! I'm sure this must bring back a plethora of pleasant memories for you. Since you're not going anywhere, let me put you out of your misery." Cell charges up his Ki on his hands with Freeza in his crosshairs. "What a stellar climax to our exciting tryst, the stars sure did align for me tonight."

"Dad! Dad! I heard a loud noise are you ok..." Tundra freezes in fear as she witnesses her dad about to be murdered by Cell.

"Run you fool!" Freeza screams.

"Looks like we have company. I'll let you sort this out between the two of you, Get it? Two of you... you know... because your body's split in half?" They both stare at Cell in confusion. "Learn to get a sense of humor...by the way, it was nice seeing you again my dear," Cell waves goodbye before making his retreat.

Tundra runs over to her dad's side. "Dad, what did he do to you?" She says as tears erupt from her eyes.

"Would you cease draining the fluids from your eyes and actually do something helpful!" He hisses.

"What can I do? I don't know how to put you back together."

"You have to kill me. In my current state, I cannot take on that cockroach."

Tundra stammers at the implications."B-but if I do you'll...die."

Freeza let's out a sigh. "In this world, I can survive it. So hurry up and end my life! Are you willingly disobeying an order?"

She shakes her head, trying her hardest to sustain composure. "Forgive me... father." She fires off a beam of energy to his heart killing him instantly. Tundra wipes her tears from her eyes as she stares at her father's lifeless corpse in front of her. Suddenly Freeza's bodied re-attaches itself and the hole in his heart mends.Tundra takes a step back in shock and disbelief. "No way!"

Freeza lifts his head from the ground, examining his hands before balling them into a fist. "Tundra, gather all available troops. It's about time we put an end to this vile infestation."

Meanwhile in the realm of the gods."SHIN! SHIN! Wake up, Egghead!" Beerus calls out to the Supreme Kai, waving his hands in front of his face to get him to wake up.

"Huh, what happened? Is it over?" Shin says scratching his head.

"You were knocked out cold for the last hour, Shin. Beerus wasn't too happy you spittled on this favorite sofa," Whis replies Cradling him in his arms.

"We knew you couldn't handle it. I swear, for someone millions of years old you handle something as basic as sex like a grandma...Or perhaps I just answered my own question, either way, it makes zero sense."

"You're one to talk Beerus-Sama your face is red like a papaya," Whis says giggling into his palm.

"That's not the same, ok! I'm just flustered by the fact that they didn't resolve their issues! I don't even know who to be angry at more, I bet you it has something to do with that idiot Goku. All the more reason to erase his stupid face."

"There is still time for them to make up with each other,3 more months left after all. I'm actually fairly curious as to what Freeza has up his sleeve next."

Beerus stretches his arms and yawns. "Yeah, I can't wait to see what happens next, without that guy," Beerus says pointing to Shin. " By the way, do you mind getting more earth food from Bulma's for me?"

"No problemo, but first I need to take this little guy home," Whis says lifting Shin over his shoulder.

"I think I'll stick to watching the edited version on Elder Kai's GodTube channel," Shin says sulking back into Whis's shoulder in defeat.


	12. An Uneasy Truce

Freeza and Tundra trek through a dense remote portion of Cell's territory, It was a marsh-like environment that luck enough for them remained relatively untouched by the roaring forest fire miles away.

"They have to be somewhere out here," Tundra says as she leads her disgruntled father to a specific location.

"Are you sure you encountered them out here?" Freeza inquires with a hint of doubt in his voice.

"Yes, father. I can confirm last spotted them around this area. While they weren't nearly as strong as me, I think they have the capability to get a lot stronger."

"For your sake, you better hope so," A nervous Tundra accidentally trips over a rock causing Freeza almost stumble as well. "Watch your step! You almost made me fall. I swear your lack of proper coordination will irreparably blemish the family name."

"Sorry, sir..." Tundra is taken aback by two low voices in the distance.

"Shhhhhhh..." Freeza covers up Tundra's mouth, listening carefully to the unannounced chatter.

"Someone's out here!" One of the unfamiliar voices announces loudly.

"It seems our presence has upset your little friends," Freeza murmurs under his breath while still holding Tundra's mouth shut. They remain perfectly still until a barrage of Ki blast bears down on them.

"Dad, we're being fired at! What are we going to do?"

"This will be a lesson in obedience training for you, so watch carefully." Freeza remains perfectly idle as the poorly aimed ki blast wiz by him. A nearby bush starts rustling immediately garnering attention from the younger alien.

"Look out dad!" A tall green creature leaps out from its hiding spot behind the bush aiming directly at Freeza's head. Before the hybrid could launch his attack he is instantly ensnared by Freeza's powerful tail. Freeza constricts slowly around its neck testing the creatures limits.

"Hohohoho! I see you've adopted the dimwitted traits of your deadbeat father." The creature screams as his windpipe collapses in on itself. "While I'd enjoy nothing more than to kill you right now, I'm afraid I need you to remain alive for the time being." Freeza whips his tail knocking the green hybrid to the floor.

A smaller two-toned hybrid steps out from his crowd of shocked brothers."He's too strong! What should we do, Domo?!"

The injured green creature spits to his side as he steadies himself to his feet."I don't care how strong this guy is, we have the numbers to beat him! Now, go get them! Don't let them escape!"

The ragtag mob of patchwork monstrosities charges towards the outnumbered duo.

Freeza's eyes shift over to his daughter."It's time you put your power to the test. Show me that you're worthy of inheriting my empire when I'm gone." He fires off rounds of finger blast at the leaping hoard, zapping then down one by one.

Tundra fights back against a lone assailant, she grabs her opponents wrist with her hand, twisting it hard until it goes limp.The creature wails in agony, kneeling down before Tundra, clutching its own hand in disbelief. "Still want more?" Tundra says.

"No! Please, I've had enough!" the terrified creature yells.

"We're not backing down!" The tall green creature exclaims.

"How foolish, do you truly know who you're messing with?" Freeza chides.

"Don't know and don't care. All I know is that you're trespassing on our turf!"

"Hohohohoho! How cute, you think you have ownership of my land? The mighty Freeza empire has no boundaries!"

"I don't know who this Freeza guy is your yapping about. Whoever he is, his boundaries aren't worth respecting."

Freeza walks up to the creature and grabs him by the throat. "You worthless scum! How dare you speak to the great Lord Free..." He pauses for a second, scanning the crowd of stunned faces. "You dare talk to your father like that!"

"Father?....HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Freeza grows enraged, gnashing his teeth while his bound victim laughs uncontrollably. He becomes impatient with the hybrid's uncooperative attitude, and places a glowing finger between his eyes."I'm the one that went through the pain and burden of birthing you slovenly malcontents!"

"..." The green one remains calm, closing his eyes in silence.

"One casualty of my troops is fine. I'll just have to make a lesson out of you!" He presses his finger against his victims head.

The intrusive bicolored hybrid intervenes before Freeza could act."WAIT!! He drops down to his hands and knees, bowing in compliance to Freeza. "We are really sorry for our transgressions, father. Please forgive us."

"Oh? finally someone with some sense around here." Freeza lets go of his grip on Domo's neck letting his body ragdoll to the ground.

"Cowards..."He mutters under his breath as he stumbles to the forest floor.

Freeza walks over to the submissive hybrid and puts his foot over his head. "Say it again!" He commands.

"We're sorry, father..." The two-tone hybrid repeats while sweating profusely under Freeza's foot.

Freeza tilts his head over to the gathering crowd of onlookers "Well then, what say the rest of you?"

They immediately panic and mimic their passive comrade. "WE'RE SORRY, FATHER! They continue to chant in unison.

Freeza has a huge smile of gratification from the adulation he is receiving from his terrified offspring."Enough! Now tell me what made you come to your senses, child?"

The two-toned hybrid points over to Tundra. "That little one over there. When I first saw him it was undeniable that he was one of our own. I don't know how we got separated, but we'll do anything you ask of us."

"Very well, on your feet, maggots!" Freeza looks to Domo who is still bowed down. "I appreciate your subordination, but you're currently disobeying a direct order."

"I apologize for my indiscretion," Domo says in defeat.

"I'll accept your indiscretion just this once. Now on your feet you cur!"

As the group stands up Freeza takes note of its size. "Seems there are only about 50 or so of you. Our current numbers are dwarfed by that of the bugs."

Domo interjects,"Excuse me, sir... did I overhear you say bug just now?"

"I didn't command you to speak, worm! ...but if you're curious, I did mention a bug. Why do you query?"

"Sorry...I just wanted to let you know that we squashed every last one of them on our tur...I mean this area of your turf. They shouldn't be a nuisance to you anymore."

"You don't grasp the big picture, do you? Those little maggots spawn from somewhere, and I know the source. There's an even bigger bug out there that I'm after, which is why I convened you all here. We have only 3 months prepare and train, and considering you didn't inherit my innate aptitude you'll need a lot of it. You must be in top form for the task at hand, which is why I'll hand you off to the command of my daughter."

"Daughter? That's a female? No way I'm taking commands from a girl," Domo protest.

Freeza grabs Domo by the neck with his tail bring him in closer. "You don't seem to have a problem with it now." Freeza drops Domo to the floor and proceeds to walk ahead while the band of hybrids follows.

For the next 3 months, they relentlessly train as the upcoming showdown looms closer. In the meantime Freeza had his offspring build a large compound for them to stay in. It's the night before the final battle, Freeza and his multitude of children sit by a blazing fire. Freeza looks over a Tundra with a smile, "Good job my little tyrant, they actually look like competent pawns now." Tundra goes in for a hug only to be pushed away. "Don't show affection in front of your soldiers, it's a sign of weakness that they will inevitably try to exploit." Tundra looks down in defeat.

"I can't believe how strong we are now, we'll crush that big bug easily," Domo says with excitement pounding his fist into his palm.

"Don't get too overconfident, my son. While I admire your enthusiasm you're nowhere near up to pare with our enemy....but even though they have the numerical advantage we have the upper hand with our tactical skill."

"My apologies sir, I just got too excited. I can't wait for tomorrow," Domo replies.

"Dad? Why does it have to be tomorrow of all days?" Tundra asks out of curiosity.

"Let's just say it's the beginning of a new year and I want to end it with a bang. Many of you will not make it to the next year, but those that do will receive a much-needed rest." Freeza stands up, placing his hands behind his back."Time for bed. You must be alert and ready for the morning. Understood?!"

"Yes, sir!" The group responds as they walk back to their separate quarters.

Tundra chases down Domo before he could get too far. "Don't you think it's strange that dad is setting up this battle for the end of the year? It's almost like he's not telling us the true significance of that day."

"Don't worry so much twerp, It doesn't matter what day it is. Anyways, you and I are the strongest out of the group, we'll definitely make it out of this alive." He looks over at Tundra's irate face. "Err... I meant, Lord Tundra"

"Don't you die on me, that's an order. If I see you struggling out there, I'll dispose of you myself."

"Yes, Mam!" Domo flies off to his sleeping quarters while Tundra stays behind. She looks over at her father who now sits alone by the diminishing flames. Tundra turns back around and takes a seat next to him.

"You do know I was also referring to you back there? Don't let that power go to your head, I'm still at the top of the pecking order around here."

"I know," She says taking extra care not to look her stoic father in the eyes.

Freeza's eyes remain locked on the shifting ember flames. "After this is all said and done, I will leave this world to you."

Tundra looks down at her feet, desperately fighting to hold back her tears. A strong feeling of the inevitable sinks in, she knew this may be the last times she got to speak with he father.

"What are you still doing here? Bed now! That's an order."

"Right.." She flies off leaving Freeza the only remaining figure near the campfire. He places his head into his palms as the fire dims into the blackness.

The next morning the troops all line up outside the compound behind Tundra. "I want you to all huddle up. This is not for sentimentality, but to boost morale and communal cohesion." The group all stand up, wrapping their arms around each other in a tightly knit sphere. Tundra glimpse over at Freeza whose eyes were shut and looking down towards the ground, she almost thought she saw tears forming under his eyes.

Freeza's opens his eyes wide and yells. "GIVE THEM HELL!!!"

The group of 50 fly off, following closely behind Tundra and Freeza.

"There it is!" Tundra announces. They remain in the airspace above the cave looking down at the exposed portion of the canopy. In silence, they observe the hoards of Cell Jrs roughhousing with each other.

Freeza looks on engrossed in his inner thoughts. "Their numbers have quadrupled since I last saw them.This has to be in response to my decree. The fact that he would use such low-level pawns to thwart my attack is an offense to my army." Freeza nods his head at Tundra who then gestures for the rest to attack. Her soldiers all charge up their ki aiming it at the cave before firing a large earthshattering explosion blowing it up in an instant. In the distances, tiny figures engulfed in flames become visible to there eyes. Freeza grins, satisfied by the display of carnage, while Tundra looks away in dismay. She gathers the will to lead again, signaling for her troops to go in for the attack. They dive bomb in, assaulting any enemy combatant they could get their hands on.

Freeza scans the rumble of the now collapsed cave system for any sign of Cell."He's being surprisingly less predictable this time." His training of thought is cut off by a large figure emerging from the debris. The man rubs his head before looking around in bewilderment. "That bug brained moron really decided to make the same cave his home base for the 3rd time? Good thing he's not a part of my army, his tactical skills are deplorable"

"Which one of you little assholes blew up my cave!?" A groggy Cell inquires rubbing the crust from his sleepy eyes. He peers to each corner surprised to see fighting taking place around him. "Alright, what is the meaning of all this?"

A green creature lands close to Cell. "So you're the big bad bug I've been hearing so much about? You don't look so tough to me," Domo mocks.

"What is that idiot doing? He needs to stick to fighting maggots his own size." Freeza makes his way down to the battlefield.

"Oh? I see you're one of those bastard love child's from Freeza and I's first litter. Lucky enough, you have more of my perfect genes than your mother's average ones. Now, if you're upset that I wasn't there for your first baseball game or whatever, please take that up with someone who cares."

Domo listens to Cells prattle in confusion before shifting back to his initial intentions. "I don't care what you have to say, old man! I came here to squish a bug and you're the biggest one here."

"Give it your best shot, kiddo," Cell teases.

Domo flies towards him at full speed, he goes in for a punch. Cell puts one hand out hovering it above Domo's face as he approaches.There was a temporary cease-fire on the battlefield as all eyes focus in on Cell and Domo. Tundra checks to see what all the commotion is about, she witnesses Domo accelerating towards their other father.

"NOOOOO!" She screams.

Domo's eager face turns fearful as the shadow of Cell's hand got closer and begins sparking. Cell fires off his Ki straight at Domo's surprised face leaving nothing but a cloud of smoke and Ashe in his wake. As the rustling winds subsided it was clear to all the combatants that nothing of their brother's life persist.

"The shows over nothing to see here, unless you want to be my entertainment?" Cell remarks.

The rattled combatants get back to their own battle as Cell crosses his arms, watching on with amusement. Instinctively he felt a presence enter his aura space, he reflexively grabs the object before it could impact him. He tilts his head slightly and sees he caught an Irritated Freeza by the foot. A cocky grin forms on his face as he sees Freeza struggle to free himself from his grasp.

"You're going to have to come up with a better sneak attack than that, Freeza."

Freeza fires at Cell causing him to let go of his foot to evade the attack. Tundra stops what she's doing and flies over to investigate the prior event "Where is Domo?"

"Would you stop worrying about that weakling and stay focused on our objective!" Freeza rebukes.

"You're right, dad. He'll come back anyway, just like you did."

Freeza stares at Tundra for a moment, mouth agape as if failing to say what he wanted to. In an instant the moment between parent and child was cut short as a high-speed object slams directly into Tundra, burying her into the ground, Freeza then realizes it was Cell now with his foot on Tundra's back. He completely ignores Freeza, instead focusing his ire towards his daughter. Cell repeatedly stomps on Tundra's back,"This is for all the bullshit you put me through, you little bitch!" Freeza's mind races as he qualifies the visceral danger his child was now in, he attacks without thinking, whipping Cell away with his powerful tail. Cell rises from his knees licking up the blood dripping down his mouth.

Tundra comes to, still shaken by the close call. "Dad, I'm sorry... I should have paid more attention to my surroundings."

Freeza kicks Tundra in her side,"I don't want to hear any pitiful excuses from you! Complete your objective now!"

"Yes, sir!!!" Tundra flies off to join her troops on the warzone leaving her parents to there squabble. Cell flips his index finger, gesturing for Freeza to follow him as he takes off to the sky.

"I'm not through with you coward!" He actively pursues Cell leaving behind Tundra and her troops without support. Freeza fires off rounds of Ki, Cell masterfully dodges returning attacks of his own. Freeza grows tired of the shooting gallery and instead makes his way past Cell's defense meeting him in a head-on clash. Tightening their grips on each other's hand as they stare off against one another. Freeze smiles before delivering a knee to Cell's face, the large insect fights back against the attack pushing back against Freeza's knee, returning his eyes back to the other. Cell returns a smirk and lands a kick of his own on Freeza's jaw causing the alien to reel back in pain. Cell dropkicks him into the ground, the speed of his descent leaving bold streaks etched into the sky. The tiny white lizard coughs as a cloud of dust overpowers his senses.

"It's time I got serious about our battle." Freeza starts charging up, the dirt whirling around his feet as his yellow aura overtakes him. Cell powers up while in the air, the two opponents never leaving each other's sites until they both were covered in golden body armor. Once again they clash, unrestrained by their weaker forms.

The battles throughout the day left the land littered with the dead bodies of Freeza and Cell's progeny. It was now pitch dark and the remaining few warriors still fighting for their lives. Tundra looks around at her fallen comrades. "We were outnumbered, but we at least managed to widdle their numbers down closer to ours...but still, I'm wondering how much more of this we can take. An Injured brother approach her "At this rate, none of us will make it out of this alive!" He screams.

"Pull it together! We defeated a bulk of their units despite not having the numerical advantage. Don't worry about the others, they will be back on their feet in no time."

"Back on their feet!?" Have you lost your mind, captain?! They're dea..." A well-aimed Ki blast pierces the head of her brother, killing him instantly.

In a fit of rage, Tundra lets out a large beam cannon at the Cell jr vaporizing it instantly. Tundra tries to regain her strength after the large burst of energy. She remains on alert, shifting her eyes to catch any potential encroaching threat. She then that she spotted a lone Cell Jr. hiding behind a decaying tree. "Stay back!" Tundra fires off a Ki blast at the creature but it doesn't budget. The little blue bug makes it way over to Tundra, resting himself at her side.

"It's you? You're still alive?!"

"I no want to fight," Cell Jr says as he cowers behind Tundra.

"Come on, it's getting late. Let's look for our dads." She leaves her post to look for her missing parents as the long exhausting day of war draws to a close.

Cell and Freeza struggle to catch their breath, their lustrous forms now depleted. Both struggling to stay on their toes after the long exhausting day of nonstop fighting.

"This is not over!" Freeza exclaims resting his tired hands on his knees.

The scene remained quiet until Cell erupts in uncontrollable laughter "HAHAHAHAHAHA! I just thought of something!"

"You're not getting out of our battle."

"No..I'm going to go destroy the planet," Cell waves before taking off into the moonlit sky, Freeza angrily trails behind.

"Not without me you're not!" They take off through the clouds high above the stratosphere before being met with an impassible boundary, they both hit their head on the imaginary Ceiling. "I suppose this is as far as the simulator will take us, a shame, there's nothing quite like seeing a planet blown up from space."

"I don't care what parameters are met, I'm blowing this hellhole to smithereens, you can spectate if you so please," Cell remarks while preparing his Ki blast.

"I'll be doing more than just spectating!" Suddenly, his thoughts shift to his daughter down on the tiny planet cause him to have second thoughts. Freeza grabs hold of Cell's muscular arm as he charges up his earth destroying canon.

"You're not going to take away my moment of glory this time," He berates.

"My child is still on that planet you demented troglodyte!" Freeza hisses as he desperately tugs at Cell's arm.

Cell's orb grows larger the more Freeza struggles, "You're just speeding up the Inevitable."

"DAD! DAD! "Freeza hears an all too familiar voice calling out to him in the distance, he catches a glimpse of his child accompanied by Cell Jr.

"Tundra! You're alive!" Freeza yells out in relief.

"Whoop-de-do, we got the whole family here! Now, will you quit your bitching and let me get back to work?"

Freeza places his palm next to Cell's garnering an eager smirk from Cell. "Not without me you're not! We built it together, we destroyed it together!" They continue to charge their energy beams for 10 mins, laughing and exchanging sadistic grins as they do. A battle warry Tundra observes her two parents looking the happiest she had ever seen them together. Finally, they complete their death orb, letting it careen towards the tiny planet, as it descends, it coalesces into one massive mountain-sized meteor. They both kiss passionately while marveling at their work, a strong gust of wind seemingly startles the two lovers breaking up their embrace. "Wait! This is bad!That blast is going to ricochet off the ceiling killing us too!"

"Who cares? We don't stay dead here, remember?" Cell replies with a shrug.

Freeza grabs hold of Cell's hand while reaching out to Tundra,"GRAB ON TO ME!" Tundra reaches as she overextending her little hand out to her dads only to have a large gust of wind and debris separate them. "TUNDRA!!!" Visibility is lost completely as ash, rock, and uprooted trees twist around in the air, the dark sky becomes bright as the impact below vaporizes the surface of the planet, their tiny world reduced to nothing but a massive smoldering impact crater, In the middle of it sit Freeza and Cell. They situate besides each other, shivering, their bodies blackened by the explosion. "We actually survived?...Wait, where's Tundra? Our bodies aren't mortal, but her's is!"

"I'm right here father, "a quiet voice utters. Freeza looks down to see Tundra tucked between his arms, completely unphased from the blast.

 

"Thank goodness you're safe!" Freeza looks over to his left side and witnesses Cell, trembling while clutching the lone surviving Cell Jr close to his chest.

"Hohohohoho! Look at you, Mr. "offspring are only for food and fighting" yet here you are, clinging to yours like a teddy bear."

He looks over to Freeza and pouts his lip, "I was just saving this one for later," he remarks. Cell looks down at the little insect nestled between his arms and the little blue bug follows suit. Without warning, Cell bares his sharp fangs at the little bug causing him to viscerally panic, the two villains both erupt into laughter as the frightened Cell Jr cries uncontrollably out of fear.

"What a wild ride it's been, and to think, it all started with your love of one imbecilic monkey man," Cell mocks.

"I don't like Goku, I despise him and his putrid simian race more then you could possibly fathom!"

"You might want to admit it now considering this may be the last time we ever get to talk like this. If I'm to be completely frank, I don't really care who you like, I'm just curious that's all."

"Ok, fine...perhaps I do... "love" the monkey in some capacity, I would most certainly love to blast him into oblivion. Now that we're on the subject, you do mention the primate quite regularly for someone who doesn't love Goku."

"Sure, I suppose you could say that I'd love to break every bone in his body. Take it from someone who actually killed the bastard, there's nothing quite like it."

"Is it possible for us to "love" Goku...together?" Freeza inquires while his eyes laser focuses on Cell.

"Sure, I don't see why the hell not, I mean, Goku... now that's the kind of guy that can use more "loving" If you ask me."

"Yes, I'm sure his entrails would make fine jump rope for Tundra," Freeza replies with glee.

"You see!? There is enough Goku to go around for the entire family!"

"Perhaps, we could do this again another time?" Freeza says nervously as he awaits a response, feverish of the potential rejection his suggestion may incur.

"It Depends if I'm bored or not," Cell replies nonchalantly.

"I'll take that as a yes? I expect to see you here next year, you better not go off repenting on me."

"Me?...repent? Have you lost your mind, woman!? I'm in this for the long haul, no way I'm giving up this perfect body of mine that easy."

"Agreed! There is no way I will allow them to make me "good", I'm convinced they'll end up having to erase me before that ever happens."

Tundra interrupts their discussion with her own concerns, "I... don't understand... Are you leaving me?"

Freeza wraps his arms around his daughter, embracing her tightly to his chest, "This will only be a temporary arrangement, but I promise, I will come back for you," he replies assuredly.

They collectively shift their eyes up towards the sky as a large beam of light rains down on the simulated world. Everything from the shifting dirt beneath their feet, to the irradiated pink sky, every inch of the topography was bathed in a white glow. Freeza places his hand down to his side and Cell lays his on top, the two exchange a smile of contentment to one another as the entire world dissolves into the void.

"Ahhhh! Where am I!?" Freeza exclaims. He looks down to see a grassy field full of colorful flowers, this world was populated by tiny colorful creatures playing annoying instruments, while cherubs and fairies buzz around the sky.

"Your Hell vacation has ended, sir Freeza. This is goodbye, for now," the Kai takes a bow before making his exit.

"WAIT! WHERES MY CHILD!? Tundra! TUNDRA!!! ...And Cell...Where is Cell!?" Freeza looks around in utter confusion of his new surroundings.

"Don't cry, we're here to cheer you up!" An overly cheerful fairy says.

"You're not my daughter!" Freeza responds angrily.

"I can be if you use your imagination!" The fairy replies using her magic wand to poke Freeza on his nose.

Freeza sadness shifts into his usual unbridled anger, he quickly escapes into his thoughts, this time instead of fighting with Goku it's an image of his lost daughter. "No matter what, I will escape this Hell for good! I will bring you back!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had to end it off with a gigantic gay lovebeamXD. That you everyone that stuck with my story this far, I never imagined I'd get as many kudos and feedback that I did. Thank you all so much!


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